In Three Words, I Can Sum Up Everything I've Learned About Life: IT GOES ON

Today is September 11th

2011-09-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

Today is September 11th: This post is atypical of what I usually write about, but seeing it's an event that cannot be ignored, I have to mention it. Today is the ten...

(Credit: http://thebitchywaiter.blogspot.com/)

I Miss You

2011-04-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

Today is Palm Sunday. I didn't go to church, I didn't really do much of anything. I slept late, and am doing a marathon of "An Idiot Abroad" which was built up on my DVR. Man, do I love to laugh, and Karl Pilkington was the man to do that today!

What a whirlwind 6 months it's been; career transition, learning to give myself a break for not always having the energy to say 'yes' to everyone ALL THE TIME, learning about being a Virtual Assistant, learning about me.

Did you notice the 'learning about me' came last?

Yeah, me too.

I miss you. Who am I talking to? I'm talking to you. A few years ago, before Facebook, I remember saying to several people around me, "You know, we've never had more means of staying in touch; cell phones, email, wireless Internet, etc.. Yet, I find it so interesting that we've never been so far apart."

Look at our communication now that Facebook and social media have come on the scene. We manage to track each other, see what we're doing, what we're buying, what we're eating, how we're feeling...but we're not really asking the question, "So, what's going on? How are you?"

Don't get me wrong; I am a social media junkie.

But it's made me lazy. Lazy about my relationships. And that makes the world go 'round. I don't know about you, but my resume and bank account don't keep me warm on a cold night.

Remember the days of "Toma's Christmas Letter"? So many of you tell me how much it means/meant to you. This past Christmas (given my 'transitional' state), I said to myself, "Nah, I'm not going to send one - I don't want to bring anybody down. I don't have anything exciting to say." Even though, I really had VERY LITTLE to complain about. MORE THAN THAT, though, I just didn't feel it was necessary because I update everyone, all the time, and the information is instant.

How about your email in-box? Who's piled up with emails that need a reply? Who's exhausted at the thought of simply replying to an email? Show of hands? Anyone?

I miss you.

"Why today, Toma?"

I had to re-format my iPhone, and I have an application that links my address book to your Facebook profile, so I can see your pretty face when you call me. Because I was doing a big overhaul, part of that was manually checking all of my contacts, one-by-one.

I started making a list of "Oh, I need to call her." or "Wonder what THEY are up to?" Then I just lost track.

It was too overwhelming.

Blessing and a curse? Sure. But I'm going to change my vocabulary.

Today.

Blessing and a CHOICE. We choose to take the time/make the time to keep in touch with each other. To reach out - and - HAVE NO REASON but just to say "Hey, whassup?"

And I have been making crummy choices.

If you'd like to know what's happening with me, I'll take the easy way out and give you a quick wrap-up of life as Toma. But really, check out Facebook, and you'll find out that I just walked for MS and that my baby brother & my niece remind me that with or without MS, I'm still the best big sister and Aunt in the universe.

Since 1 November, I have:

-Quit my job

-Started my own gig

-Realized the following two key things:

I only need three things in life: raise Kayla, pay my mortgage and feed my dog. In that order. I don't need any more STUFF! As my want for material things in life decreases...my happiness increases.
I don't always have to be the boss or make the decisions to be successful.

-Attended The Landmark Forum and highly recommend it; it'll blow you away how easy it is to free up some space and create new things

-One thing that hasn't changed? My utter adoration for my family and friends (who, in my world, are one in the same - my 'tribe').

My grandmother, Alfreda Leona LaBorde Rusk, turns 90 years old on 24 May 2011, and she's coming to Florida next week. She's going to see my house for the very first time. She's the woman I look to when I want to hear no-nonsense TRUTH, and the matriarch of my family. Sure, is she set in her ways, stubborn and crabby? Absolutely.

But you don't get to be 90 years old with a husband of 65+ years (God rest you, Grampa Rusk), 3 children, 4 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren by being on Facebook.

Surprising Mimi in SC for her 88th Birthday

Mimi and her 4 Grandkids

So, what's new with you?

Dare you to call me.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Circle" by Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians

Anyone seen my Palmolive?

2011-02-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.”

I detested those women; the women (a few years ago) that constantly referred to their lives as a Sex and the City episode. More than that....the women that bought the "I'm a Carrie" or "I'm a Charlotte" tee shirts?

Come on now.

But tonight. Ahhhh, tonight. I was a full-on Miranda. I'm specifically speaking of the episode where Miranda was having a love affair with her chocolate cake; she couldn't stop eating it, so she threw it in the garbage. Then, she found herself eating it out of the top of the garbage can, so she squeezed Palmolive on it, so she wouldn't eat it anymore.

The crazy meter is pegged. Full tilt red.

If you've never seen Sex and the City, then you should just skip this post, because the irony will not strike and my tales of embarrassment will not be nearly as funny as if you haven't seen this particular episode.

Today, I had the most perfect Saturday I've had in a long time. I met a new client (and closed the deal! Yay, me! Yay, TaskOutToma.com!) in the Gables, came home and spent a few hours at the pool with my neighbors, then settled in bed for a few hours of American-Idol-catching-up-Facebooking-built-in-with-a-little work.

Earlier today, as I packed my cooler for the pool, I threw in some pretzel M & Ms. New favorite obsession, and since I allow myself very little in the way of sweets (nor am I a big fan of chocolate), it was a treat to have it at the pool. Whatever, it's dumb, but that's me. I like my chocolate cold, so I put the package in the cooler. The end.

Well, I didn't eat them at the pool. I saved them for later, emptied the cooler, sat the M&Ms on the kitchen counter and went on with my evening.

As with all temptation, you always reach for it at the EXACT TIME you're not supposed to, right? It's nearly 10pm, wayyyyyyy past the food cutoff time (8pm for me, usually), and ABSOLUTELY not the time for chocolate! I head to the kitchen to give Chester his before-bed treat and what do I reach for?

Not a glass of water.

Back to the boudoir (I don't normally work in bed, unless it's a weekend, then I just do a few 'catch up' things), and go to finish up the last of my work and I open up my M&Ms to enjoy them while I finished.

I open up the bag, reach in for (what had planned to be) a yummy mouthful of pretzely-choco goodness. As I'm reaching into the bag, I'm tilting it, ever-so-slightly and it feels a little on the damp side....when all of a sudden...

Watery chocolate.

All over me, all over my face (oh yes, I didn't actually 'believe' the bag was full of water from the cooler, so I decided to throw 'er down the hatch, anyway), all over my hands, all over my CALVIN KLEIN DUVET COVER BEDDING....everywhere.

I ran into the bathroom to quickly clean up the catastrophe; caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, complete with a runny chocolate chin and watery-chocolate spots and spills all over my pjs.

Pure glam.

Today, things are going to change.

For all of you who have been up and down and up and down and up and DOWWWWWWWWN the scale, SOUND OFF! It's a time when being 'up' can certainly bring you DOWN! You've been there. We've all been there.

I won't let it bring me down, though. Instead, I'm going to reach for my OxyClean stain lifter, pick up my pride, drink a big bottle of water and then....

Make use of the Planet Fitness coupon I got in the mail today.

Toma's Favorite Song Album Today: SkinnySongs - great idea, Heidi! Excellent motivation!!

My Cup Runneth Over...

2010-11-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

Have you missed me? I've certainly missed you - each and every one of you. A whole lot. I realize, after moving home to Florida last year, my blog posts were few and far between. I mean, what's a girl to do without her IIFs*?

Some of you have seen the proverbial cat running around out of the bag. If you haven't seen that cat, I'll introduce you to her, now.

Her name is RESIGNED. Which I did.

I resigned my position on 1 November 2010. At current & present time, for the FIRST TIME since 1988 (16 years old for those of you that are counting), I am (GASP!) unemployed**.

...and I can't remember a time when I've been more happy. More thankful. More RICHLY BLESSED.

"Toma? What are you going to do? Where are you going to work? How will you pay your mortgage? What about health insurance?"

Yes, thanks for asking. Glad you mentioned that, because I hadn't thought about that.

((insert sarcasm here))

Yes, I am certainly mindful that I am unemployed and uninsured and that I have a disease that requires medication for the rest of my life, thankyouverymuch. I am currently seeking employment and hopeful of what is to come.

In the meantime, with my unending thanks to my baby brother, Sebastian, I have launched TaskOutToma.com, my very own venture into the world of virtual administrative assistants.

I won't bore you with how this all came about because the bottom line is only one word, three letters: GOD. He's never late, but He's always on time.

Shortly after resigning, one day Sebastian & I were chatting about how I can continue to make money 'in the meantime'. I was/am babysitting, dogsitting, product demonstrating, etc.. However, I knew I needed to ~~grow~~ pay my mortgage. In the course of a 15-minute conversation with Seb, TaskOutToma.com was born. I bought the domain (thanks, GoDaddy!), set up an email address, added a Facebook Fan Page and had business cards printed before the end of the day.

THEN - before the end of THAT day, before I knew what hit me, I was attending the Empowered Woman Miami Sucess Summit & Expo.

And here we are, today. I have clients. I am working. I am thankful.

And I am so excited about where this is leading!

As I was creating TaskOutToma.com and taking my first few clients, they (my clients) were extremely interested in my story. "Why now? Why virtual admin, Toma? What are your dreams?"

Ok. Um. Listen. I have climbed Mt. Fuji, traveled all over the world and jumped out of an airplane with the Army Golden Knights. Bucket list - CHECK.

At 38 years old, I am so richly blessed, grateful and fulfilled, my cup runs over. Seriously. I have no ulterior motives, no grand plans to be rich & famous and (above all) I don't need any more STUFF.

I worked for 16 years and loved every minute. I bought a beautiful home on top of the Florida Keys. I have my best friend, Chester, by my side every waking minute. Today, and for the future - HONEST ABE - I just want to pay my mortgage, feed my dog and help raise my niece.

If you don't know me, or perhaps live under a rock, my brother, Sebastian, is a single Dad to the 9-year-old love of my life, Kayla. I loved her before she even entered this world, and I can't believe how much more I fall in love with her every single day. I want to get up, every morning, and simply try harder to be an example to her.

Below, I want to share with you an entry I wrote to my family about 7 days after I resigned. It encompasses and SPECIFICALLY points out exactly where I'm at right now.

Begin forwarded message:

From: T is for TOMA!!!
Date: November 8, 2010 1:29:13 AM EST
To: undisclosed recipients

Bcc: "Rusk Toma S."
Subject: This is What it Feels Like

Man, is God hard at work! It's almost 130am, I SHOULD be in bed (Hi, Mom!), but I can't sleep. You'll see why.

Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment with a professional career placement service at 930. I JUST remembered that even though they have my electronic resume, I need to bring a paper resume with me. Sure, I am hopeful that the job with the Army at USSOUTHCOM will come to fruition, however, I am covering every base and ensuring I've put myself out there, even though it's completely new and different and...well....NEW.

Not 'scary'. Just. New.

ANYWAY - as I was printing up, putting it in a file folder, I just never felt any sense of fear. Not one moment.
In the background, I had my iPhone plugged into a speaker dock (of course) in my room. As I was printing, a track called "This is What it Feels Like" came on, by a group I've loved for as long as I can remember, FFH.

After years of performing, recording & touring, in 2006, the group took a hiatus and Jeromy & his wife, Jennifer (also in FFH), moved to Cape Town, South Africa to minister a church. They returned after 6 months to begin a new season in life, which they were POSITIVE did NOT include returning to FFH. I grew even closer to them late last year when I learned that the lead singer/husband, Jeromy, was diagnosed with MS in 2007. They pursued worship opportunities and parenthood, but just weren't sure where God was leading them. Then, after many attempts at 'trying to find what God wanted', they quickly discovered that God was silent, for a REASON.

Jeromy & Jennifer resumed FFH, but this time, as a duo and they scaled back on their touring. They knew God kept them where they were to raise their children and treat Jeromy's MS. This is their first record since returning.

SO...

I hear this song playing - I literally had to stop what I was doing - go in my room, hit 'pause' - finish printing, and come back and hear it, giving it my full attention.

And then, I simply said, "Thank you, Father."
I wish I could describe the resonance in the room as I heard Jeromy's voice.

The peace.

Thank you family - for showing me His face and praying me through this time, and standing in the gap. You are Christ to me.

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE LAST STANZA.
Then read it again.

He's not done with me yet!
Love you all,
Toma
xoxo

What it Feels Like (to be led)

So this is what it feels like to walk the wilderness
This is what it feels like to come undone
This is what it feels like to lose my confidence
Unsure of anything or anyone
So this is what it feels like to walk the desert sand
This is what it feels like to hear my name
To be scared to death ‘cause I’m all alone
But feel love and peace just the same

This may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
‘Cause I have never felt You as close to me

As I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led

So this is what it feels like to just fall apart
To be totally unglued
Find out that if I accept my brokenness
I get more of me, I get all of You

So this is what it feels like to just walk away
From everything I thought kept me safe
To depend just on you for every meal
And find that it’s better this way

*Imaginary Internet Friends, term coined courtesy of She Walks, with my thanks. Kristy is not just an IIF, she's an IIM (Imaginary Internet Mentor). And she doesn't even know it.

**Unemployed? By 'THE MAN', sure. But not without work. AHEM.

It's No Big Deal

2010-08-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

"Toma, when are you going to blog again?"

"Ah, well...I dunno. I just don't really have that much to say."

Baloney.

Yeah, I said it. Think of Judge Judy. Baloney. I actually have a lot to say, I just have been remiss in putting it all out there.

In June of last year, shortly after moving home to Florida, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

"WHAT? TOMA? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!!!!"

Because it wasn't about you. Or what I was keeping from you. I had to wrap my own brain around it. It took about a year, I have MS, and it's really no big deal.

I was inspired to write this entry after reading this blog that I just 'happen' to come across through someone who DOESN'T have MS and doesn't even KNOW I have MS.

Well, now she does. Hi, Kristy!

That woman's blog entry could have been written by me. In fact, if I hadn't sent you the link above, I was tempted to copy and paste it, nearly, word-for-word, because it's like she's a fly on the wall of my life.

But this is my story - for you.

I moved home to Florida last March, as everyone knows. After 15 years of traveling and living all over the world, by the grace of God and the power of negotiation, I was offered a job as Lodging Manager at Homestead Air Reserve Base, just south of Miami, at the top of the Florida Keys. I'd been home about a month, and my Mom and Bonus Dad were outside helping me with some yard work. Shortly after we finished and they went home, I started to feel pain in my right eye, which transitioned into a MASSIVE migraine headache, accompanied by a blind spot. I thought nothing of it - only that I'd been doing yard work without eye protection and I (most likely) got something in my eye.

Over the next several days the pain didn't subside, but it didn't get worse, either. I mostly ignored it, as I was the 'new girl' in town. You can't start a new job and within 2 weeks take sick time.

Especially when you're the boss.

I let it go on for - maybe - a month. The blind spot eventually went away, but the headaches did not. I got a referral for a great family practitioner in Homestead, Dr. Linda Fagan.

Let me point out right here that I really had NO IDEA this could be MS. To be blatantly honest, I didn't even really KNOW what MS was. I just knew that my friend, Jessica, was diagnosed with it about 11 years ago, and my girlfriend's Mom, Susan, had it. I told Dr. Fagan my symptoms. She took one look in my eye and immediately sent me to the eye doctor down the street (Man, I love small towns). What she didn't tell me (so as not to freak me out), was that she feared I had MS. She told me she was concerned that I'd scratched my cornea (liar), and that I needed to go and see the eye doctor down the street - immediately. What she ALSO didn't tell me is that she'd had 3 OTHER patients, in the last few months, diagnosed with MS.

The eye doctor was an optician, Dr. Lofton. He did a physical exam, followed by an ultra sound. The result of that ultra sound?

"Toma, your optic nerve is swollen."

"Um, okay. What do you take for that?"

"No no no, Toma. It means something is 'pushing' on your optic nerve. I don't want to alarm you, but it could be anything; maybe a tumor. I suggest you see a neurologist."

"Um. Thanks?"

About a week later, still not really freaked out (I know, right? How was THAT possible? Oh right. Because I know that God's got my back. More on that, later.), I made an appointment with a neurologist at Baptist Hospital near my house, Dr. Kobetz. Dr. K concurred that my optic nerve was swollen. He did a physical-neurological exam, saw nothing abnormal. He suggested I see an OPTHAMOLOGIST, vs. the optician. "Toma, if you can stick around, I'll call my buddy on the 3rd floor right now. If he can fit you in right now, can you go?"

So, I visit his colleague, Dr. Spektor (tee hee hee...and eye doctor named 'spektor') - and again, optic neuritis. I explain to him what has happened and the circumstances leading up to my visit and he says "So, you've had an event?"

When he says 'an event', I'm thinking a banquet, right?

He does a more intense exam and concurs that there's something definitely amiss. I head back up to Dr. Kobetz (neurologist) and Dr. Spektor accompanies me so we can all 3 talk in the same room. How often does that happen in today's day and age?

So. There was chatter and medical words and terms I don't know and we-really-aren't-sure-but-we-think-it's-nothing-so-why-don't-you-have-an-MRI-just-to-be-sure.

I think my FIRST round of MRIs was somewhere like 6 of them. Two hours in the tunnel/circular coffin. 3 with contrast, 3 without. Results inconclusive but Dr. Kobetz told me he saw spots in the white matter of my brain that were called "Dawson's Fingers."

"OH! You mean like Pacey and Joey, in the Creek?"

((BLANK STARE))

"No, 'Dawson's Fingers' are most commonly found in patients with multiple sclerosis. I don't want to freak you out, but you appear very strong and faithful, so I thought it was best to be honest with you."

"Good call. What now?"

"I hate to tell you this, and it's the last thing I wanted to do, but the only REAL way I can diagnose you with /rule out MS is to do a lumbar puncture."

"What's that?"

"A spinal tap."

"Can I have drugs?"

"Absolutely."

"Awesome. Schedule it."

INSERT APPLICABLE SIDEBAR HERE: I neglected to mention this little issue to ANYONE in my family, except my brother, Sebastian. More specifically, I kept it from my mother, Suzy. God bless my mother, but she worries about what she is going to worry about. Much like a pregnancy test, you don't need to reveal the results until you're sure, right? No sense getting everyone all worked up. (BTW, a positive pregnancy test would have been great news at this point. After all, I would have had to change my name to Mary and find me a manger.)

Sorry. Back to Suz.

So - I decide I'm going to do the spinal tap and enlist the help of bestie, Tiffany Welch. Not only does my mother not handle a 'possible' diagnosis well, she does even worse in hospitals. Big 'ol gag reflex.

Unbeknownst to me, Sebastian decides that he needs to 'run it by' our Mother, so she's not COMPLETELY blindsided.

"So, Mom...Toma's going to have a spinal tap. She can't seem to get rid of that pain in her eye and the massive headache, so her doctor wants to rule out everything. She's fine, everything is fine, he just wants to rule anything out. Can you pass the potatoes?"

"Rule WHAT out?"

"Lots of things - you know, a tumor...MS...."

SHOCK
HORROR

I immediately launch into the no-I-wasn't-purposely-avoiding-telling-you-I-just-didn't-want-to-worry-you-it's-all-going-to-be-fine-please-don't-freak-out defense.

She wasn't buying what I was selling. Not even a little bit.

As the day approached, Tiff rang and told me that her schedule was throwing a monkey wrench in everything, and she wasn't able to come down and get me through it. She thinks I really need to ask my Mom. When I explain that it just isn't an option, it was then when I discovered what true sisterhood really is.

Tiff replied with, "I'll call your Mother."

For some reason, when you hear it from people that don't have your blood running through theirs, the news just doesn't seem to be as bad.

From what I 'understood' the spinal tap, itself, was relatively easy and I'd be sedated. However, the recovery could be very lengthy, if you didn't follow the doctor's instructions TO THE LETTER. Well, since I believed I could put God in a box and do His work for Him, I was fully prepared to go and have the spinal tap, and return to work the next day.

God then proceeded to LAUGH at me.

Mom, of course, volunteered to take the time off work and be right by my side through the entire thing. I told her that this involved checking into the hospital, getting a bracelet, and IVs. She took a breath and told me she was ready. I was completely unaware that she was freaking out on the inside. Well done, Momma Dukes! So, that said - she was an absolute CHAMP.

I checked in as an outpatient, got the bracelet, got the IV, and Mom sat right there and didn't bat an eye or shed a tear (on the outside). The procedure was quick, painless and I was clueless. I was on a 'sedative', but this girl was a Disney character for 11 years. Come on now. I clocked out and they woke me up when I was ready to walk out of the surgery center. Rock on.

Dr. Lustgarten (my surgeon) told me that I must lay on my back, flat, for a full 24 hours, to reproduce the spinal fluid, and to drink lots and lots of caffeine to keep the headache away. Me? Flat on my back, being lazy drinking chai tea? CAN DO. I followed his directions to the tee; smooth sailing the first few hours after I got home.

Until I got up to visit the restroom.

HOLYHEADPAINLIKEI'VENEVEREFELTBEFOREWHYISMYBRAININAVISCRIPTS?

Mom canceled all of her work plans for the next week and proceeded to stay by my side, without rest, without fail, for the next 7 days.

So then, there was the waiting.

Dr. Kobetz - my neurologist - told me the results would be back within a few days, but that he would be on vacation, so don't freak out if you don't hear from me for a week or so.

Oh. Okay. You go out and enjoy that boat. I'll be right here wondering if I have a debilitating disease. Take your time.

I say that in jest. Seriously, I honestly didn't believe anything was wrong and had done ZERO research on the possiblity of MS. AGAIN, why worry until there's something to worry about? It is an absolute waste of time and, check ~~Matthew 6:12~~ Matthew 6:25-34 It's a sin (thanks, Melissa Murray for that!).

Saturday, June 6th at 10am, I was cleaning my kitchen countertop. My phone rang...and my life changed.

"Toma, I'm sorry to tell you, you have MS."

He went on and on about igg levels and mylen protein and thisiswhat'swrongwithyou number and that'snotsupposedtobethathigh number. I have no idea.

"Toma, you need to get a second opinion and begin treatment, if the MS specialist concurs with your diagnosis. Go and see. Dr. Silvia Delgado at the University of Miami. She's the best in the field."

Since 6 June 2009 the following statements are true:

I have Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis.
Betaseron is my drug of choice. I inject it every other night before bed. It was rough at first, and extremely difficult for about 90 days. Once my body got used to it, I don't even feel it in my system.
I am no longer seeing Dr. Delgado. Since my Mom taught me "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm going to leave that one alone.
I've been introduced to the AMAZING staff at Sunrise Medical Group and am under the care of Dr. Brian Steingo. More specifically, I am cared for by Jenn Smrtka, Nurse Practicioner, specializing in MS. I adore her.
MS is no longer Annette Funicello, confined to a wheelchair.
MS is just an adjustment, not a sickness. I think this way, thanks to my 'face' of Multiple Sclerosis, Jessica Gagne. Since being diagnosed in 1999, Jessica has birthed 3 children and is a personal trainer, FOR A LIVING. Take that, MS.
I was handed lemons, and I've made lemonade. I've now refocused my lens and plot my day in a 33/33/33 balance: eat, sleep, exercise. I've chosen a mostly-organic/non-processed diet called The Swank Diet, specifically written for people with MS. I sleep 8-10 hours a night and come home every day, for lunch, and take a 20-minute power nap. I attend spin class several days a week and swim when I get the time.
I've never felt better in my life.
I take NOTHING and NO MINUTE for granted.
After 15 years living around the world, my friends (you) were my family. Now, I am (finally) geographically close to my family. And I can't spend ENOUGH time with them, since moving home. They come before any friendship. Period.
I don't believe in chance or circumstance. Or luck.
God isn't PUNISHING me with MS. He didn't make this happen because He's mad at me or because I'm a sinner. I am saved by grace...fearfully and wonderfully made. God has directed EVERY detail! Do you think it's ANY accident that, after living away from my family for nearly 15 years, I move home, and I'm diagnosed within 3 months? Huh? Do you? I could have been ANYWHERE; Korea...California...Hawaii...but I wasn't. I was home and God is SO GOOD.
It's really no big deal.

To those of you reading this that have listened, counseled, researched, donated, called, emailed, sent flowers, sent cards, prayed and loved me.....I want to say 'thank you'. Seems to not even do justice to what I want to express to you. But at the same time, they are the two words I can never say enough. You are my heart, my soul...my insides and I love you all.

To Dr. Linda Fagan, her amazing nurse, Glenda Talley, and her daughter/office manager, Jessie, who I know are reading this. Thanks to you three, I now have a circle of friends that are not only close, geographically, but are close PHYSIOLOGICALLY, because they are just like me! You have opened your family, life and your home to me (and to them) and I want you to know that...in my world...friends AND family are one in the same. You three are the closest thing to blood in Homestead and I love you.

To my Homestead family; Rick, Kim & Arilys. Words could never express how much you all mean to me. You bring beautiful things into my life each and every day, and I just adore you all. Kim, even though the miles separate us, you're never far away.

To my Father & bonus Mom, thank you for the fervent, effective and unending prayer. You stand in the gap when I don't want to and Daddy, you always come to my rescue when I need you to come down for a week and tackle my 'Daddy Do' list. Shot out to Kathy for always willing to sweep my floors because you know I hate to.

To my Mother & bonus Dad - what is there to say to the two of you? Having you only 80 minutes away is nothing short of God's grace. It's Hurricane football season and nothing stops us from our tailgates and 10-yard-line seats at Dolphins Stadium! Mom, you ALWAYS...ALWAYS...do more for me than I could ever imagine doing for you. You bit the bullet, swallowed your panic and stood by me when I was the most afraid I've ever been in my life. And you continue to do that, every single day.

To my baby brother, Sebastian. You stick up for me every minute of every day. Don't ever stop doing that and continue striving for a life of authenticity. Thank you for being Kayla's Dad, so I could experience true, pure, unconditional love in my life. When you find the love of your life, you find that kind of love doesn't always have to come from a partner.

I want to close this by sharing a conversation I had, late one night, with my niece, Kayla. Most of you on Facebook see me bragging about her, daily. And for good reason! She's absolutely brilliant and challenges me, every day, to just...TRY HARDER and be an example to her and to others.

Shortly after I was diagnosed, I shared this with Kayla:

"So, Kayla - Tante has something to tell you. I have a condition called Multiple Sclerosis. I know you don't know what that is - and you will learn more about it as you get older and take health class in school. Basically, when I move my finger like this (pointer finger moving up and down), that is my brain telling my finger to move. The way that my brain gets the message to my finger is through something called 'nerves'. Multiple Sclerosis attacks those nerves, so I have to take a shot, every other night to make sure that my messages still get sent."

That was around lunchtime. We went on with our day, and enjoyed some quality time together. Later that night, as I was tucking her in and saying prayers, I kissed her goodnight and started to leave. Just before lights out she said:

"So, Tante. Your brain is like the post office and the nerves are the mailman. In order to get to the post office, you need a stamp, and that stamp is your shot, right?"

Like I said. She's brilliant.

And that's kind of a big deal.

Nothing to Do - and ALL DAY TO DO IT!

2010-05-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

Just returned from 7 days of pure bliss; white sandy beaches, turquoise water and no commitments. No schedule.

Heaven.

I've been to St. John before, 2 1/2 years ago. This time was like coming home. I didn't have to spend time sightseeing and getting familiar. I knew where to find the deals on bottled water (Pine Peace Market). I knew where the best Happy Hour was (Woody's. Duh.). Although, it was difficult to stay awake past dark. "What do you mean you're going out? It's dark outside! It's bedtime!"

Best day, by far, was the day we took a charter boat and did some island-hopping in the British Virgin Islands (BVIs). First was Virgin Gorda. We did a 1 1/2 mile hike through The Baths then came out at Devil's Bay Beach. Quite possibly the bluest water and whitest beach I've seen in my life. Then, we traveled to Marina Cay, which is owned by Pussers Rum. Did a little snorkeling, then we made our way to Jost van Dyke - to....the always-faithful, Soggy Dollar Bar. Swim in, drink, swim out! Just an incredible day. There's nothing like island hopping and being in your swimsuit from (LITERALLY) 7 in the morning until 11 at night.

This time, we stayed in a timeshare-resale villa at the Westin. Heckuva deal for an entire week. The nice thing about the Westin was the amenities. The pool, the towels, the beach, etc. (vs. last time when we stayed in a private house).

It's Sunday night now - back to life. Back to reality. I'm refreshed, rejuvenated and READY to rock The Homestead Inn!

Tiff, Sandy, Lisa - thanks for an incredible week. Love you girls!!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: Do you really need to ask?

The Prodigal Blogger Returns...

2010-03-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

Facebook has made me incredibly blogging-lazy.

Almost a year, lazy!

Sorry.

I celebrated a year home in Florida at the end of February. Incredibly busy year with work. I have learned SO MUCH about the Air Force. It truly is a beautiful challenge and I'm so thankful for the experience.

Yes, I used the word 'beautiful' and the word 'challenge' in the same sentence.

All that Air Force influence being said, on Friday February 19th, I had the unique opportunity of doing a tandem jump with the Army Golden Knights. Among many other things - I got an "Army Tank" fill-up! The Knights were here 'trying out' Homestead as a potential new home for winter training. We assisted them with their room reservations. What a fantastic group of men and women...and what an HONOR to be selected for a tandem jump.

BLUE SKIES!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Dreams" by Van Halen

Home Sweet Home

2009-04-03T20:19:00.001-07:00

There's No Place Like Home

2009-03-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

I could go on forever. I can't remember a time in my life where I've been happier, been more thankful or felt so blessed. Absolutely - 100% - without a shadow of doubt - the best decision I ever made. Many of you reading this were praying for me. I am a living proof that those prayers were heard and answered! I felt it! Thank you!

On Thursday, my household goods arrived, and as the movers unloaded and unpacked each and every box, I thought, "This is my life...it's beginning."

It's the arm's reach from Kayla.

It's the backyard with the giant palm trees.

It's the garage door opener.

It's the 100% faith from my new boss, the Mission Support Commander, who (yesterday) gave me 'carte blanche to get the lodge where it needs to be.'

It's the curbside pickup of anything and everything I need to get rid of.

It's parents who help you with your yard work - and love it because they totally dig you being so close.

It's my new bike (well, 'new' to me! Thanks, Mom! I love your hand-me-downs!).

It's being able to get Sebby off to a dinner with a client - and help Kayla with her math homework.

It's rolling out of bed, walking 5 feet and opening a sliding glass door from my bedroom to let Chester out at all hours.

It's 3 turns and 6 miles, door-to-door, to my office.

It's Publix. Where shopping is a pleasure.

It's BJ's Wholesale, who kicks Costco's bum and has 3-for-$3 Tazo Chai Tea mix. Jackpot.

It's finding that my Credit Union has a shared branch. 1.1 miles from my house and 3 miles from my office.

It's putting the previous owner's washer and dryer on Craigslist at 11pm - and selling it at 9am. In cash.

It's the weather. Oh, the sweet sweet Florida Sunshine that I adore and have longed for for the last 15 years.

It's Hurricane football this fall. In person.

It's your best friend since the womb, buying a one-way ticket to come and decorate...who'll stay until the house is 'your very own'.

It's the car wash kiosks in the corner of EVERY (and yes, I mean every) strip mall. $15, inside and out.

It's the Homestead Farmer's Market in the Redlands. Where you can get a pony ride, buy a bunny rabbit, eat a taco, buy a washing machine or designer knockoff jeans, get your car washed, load up on pounds of the freshest fruits and vegetables - all in one location.

It's beginning your life. For the very first time.

It's. HOME.

I send all my thanks to all of you - and to the Lord. It's all because of His plan! What a blessing!

Now - COME VISIT!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins

The Best Laid Plans....

2009-01-27T13:55:00.000-08:00

I think there's a country song that goes, "...if you want to hear God laugh, just tell Him your plan."

All is well and moving along swimmingly with my relocation to Florida. Home inspection went well, and I am set to close on my house on the 17th of February. WOOT WOOT!

But.

The Air Force Services Career Program Office - a/k/a the 'Drivers of the Toma Train' have just informed me that my orders are delayed (for the non-military folk - orders are what do EVERYTHING; schedule the movers, allow me to travel on the government's dime, etc..) by 2 weeks. THEREFORE, I won't depart Monterey until 22 February, putting me into Florida on/around the 28th or 1st of Marchish.

And now...a quick liturgy about how God turned my day around - and how He CREATED the word 'irony'....

At a meeting this morning, I told one of my co-workers (shot out, Tamesha!), "You know, I have a real peace about moving; all is well with the house, the new boss/staff, etc.. However, the only area I am REALLY stressing about is the receipt of my orders. I keep calling and stressing and wondering, because I need to get my movers scheduled, I need to get out of my house, I need...blah blah blah....But, it's funny - that's the ONE area I have not given to God, I haven't really prayed about it. Coincidence? I think not."

One hour later - my phone rang.

It was the AFSCPO with the news that my orders were being proceed, and they apologized; the orders were delayed and would be processed within the week (apparently, the gal that cuts the orders had a death in her family). That being said, I had to wait one additional pay period (2 weeks) to depart Monterey. You see, I can't be driving cross country on the Army's time clock, it must be the Air Force's.

Anyway - my point?

Do I want a 2 week delay? No
Do I want to pay more rent in my house? No

But this isn't about my schedule or my needs.

The minute I committed it and gave it away - the answer came. Bottom line? We're not in control. None of us are. And for that, I'm thankful. Somebody bigger than me, smarter than me, and stronger than me...has got my back.

My dad just said, "Toma - He's never in a hurry, but He's ALWAYS on time."

I'll see you all in Florida at the end of February/beginning of March. Thank you for your continued support Stay tuned!

And - if you haven't seen my house - the info is here.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen (I'm excited for the Super Bowl performance by The Boss!)

Fun in the Sun

2009-01-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

It is with profound happiness I announce I am returning home....TO FLORIDA!!! It's a bittersweet end to a fantastic 4 years in Monterey; I cannot think of a more wonderful place where I've grown and learned so much. It has been a pure privilege to be part of the family at the Presidio of Monterey.

I have accepted a position as Lodging Manager at Homestead Air Reserve Base, Homestead, FL. Yes, you heard me. AIR FORCE!!! After 14 years of GREEN, I'm going BLUE (that's for you Ruel Morgan and Chris MacLean!!)! Homestead Air Reserve Base (formerly Homestead Air Force base - that was destroyed by Hurricane Andrew in August 1992) was reopened in March 1994 as a reserve base, home to the 482d Fighter Wing. This new opportunity was 100% God-sent. Since my brother, Sebastian, and my niece, Kayla, moved back to Florida in the spring of last year, I have been in prayer about opportunities on the East coast, so I can continue to be part of her life and upbringing. Well, I asked, and He delivered! I'll be 45 minutes south of Sebby and Kayla - 90 minutes south of Mom and Simmer...and, not to mention a short direct flight from Fort Lauderdale to Greenville, SC to be near Daddy, Kath, Mimi & the entire Rusk side.

Oh, and my family and friends in Orlando!

Oh! And 60 minutes from my favorite sunset spot in Islamorada...

This was not a difficult decision.

I just received orders and relocation information. My estimated 'wheels up' date is 9 February. My good friend from OHS, Tiffany Welch (Griffith), will be flying out here to make the cross-country drive with Chester and I in the Jeep. Please be in prayer for me as I plan to purchase my very first home, upon arrival in Homestead. What great timing, huh? Ahhh....back to a no-state-tax State!!! Yahoo!

Although I can't provide you an updated mailing address just now, I will follow up with another email, once I'm settled. For now, please contact me at this email address tantetoma@mac.com or my cell phone 831.402.5574. That number is a BlackBerry, so I'll get your email, instantly. Please discard any other email addresses or phone numbers you have for me. If you have tantetoma@hotmail.com or 831.901.6973...TRASH 'EM!!!

If your travel plans bring you to Florida, I'm the last stop before the Florida Keys! There will always be a home for you and yours....and an arm's reach away from a stellar sunset on the water!

Love,
Toma
xoxoxo

Toma's Favorite Song Today: Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes by Jimmy Buffett

16 Things...nope....25 Things

2008-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

It was 16 Things back in November...now it's 25. After going back and reading, I didn't follow directions, the first time. It was '16 Things' and I gave you 18.

Therefore, I am not the underachiever I thought I was.

You people better not add 8 more.

1. I know Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and am not afraid of death. I'm only here for a brief rest stop. I know exactly where I'm going and look forward to the day I'll get there.

2. I do not like broccoli, asparagus or brussels sprouts. And I was a vegetarian for 3 years. Someone please alert the irony police.

3. Stealing an idea from Tara - I think the lyrics "Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face - I like the shape you take when crawlin' towards the pillowcase - You tell me where to go and - Though I might leave to find it - I'll never let your head hit the bed - Without my hand behind it" are among the best written. Ever.

4. I do not like to shop, come to Pampered Chef/PartyLite/Tastefully Simple parties or any of the activities of the like. Although I may enjoy girly THINGS and my girlFRIENDS I do not enjoy girly ACTIVITIES. Bridal and baby showers are, in a word, excruciating. This does not mean I'm not thrilled about your impending nuptials/new life. It just means I'd rather have a root canal then see how many toilet paper squares it will take to fit around your belly. But please make sure you let me know where you're registered. What I lack in presence, I make up for in PRESENTS.

5. I send handwritten thank-you notes. It is a dying art.

6. I adore my dog; he is my best friend and constant companion. In the words of Greg Behrendt, "Pets are God's way of saying 'Don't lower the bar just because you're single'."

7. I can't stand negativity, complaining or whining. If you don't like your circumstances, change them. The majority of your life is CHOICE.

8. I grind my teeth at night - and have to wear a retainer. It's very sexy.

9. I always have the perfect song as background music.

10. I think you should wake up every morning and be PASSIONATE about what you do. If you're not, make a change. See *7.

11. Bad company corrupts good character. And character counts.

12. I have a degree in Music Education and, up until the day I graduated from college, was sure I was going to teach high school chorus. Then, I walked into the Shades of Green so I could pay my bills 'in the meantime'. That was almost 15 years ago and I am still a civilian working for the Army - and I adore it.

13. I have an incredible sense of pride in my country and those who serve to protect it - and I believe in small government and no socialism. If you want it, WORK FOR IT.

14. I was in the circus in Peru, Indiana, when I was a kid.

15. I cannot cross my eyes.

16. I am left-handed.

17. I was a parade performer for 11 years at Walt Disney World.

18. I think I posses a large volume of common sense. Which sometimes pushes me into thinking the rest of the world are imbeciles. I'm working on it.

19. My niece, Kayla, is the reason I get up in the morning.

20. My parents are divorced, and both remarried to fantastic people. I now have four parents and I adore each of them for how they've shaped me as a woman.

21. I am a horrible driver (excited, Goose?).

22. I type insanely fast. And loud.

23. I prefer Facebook, IMing and emailing to texting and calling...and (heaven forbid) writing LETTERS (thank-you notes don't count).
I know - that makes me a bad friend.

24. There is no one on the planet that can make me laugh harder than my baby brother, Sebastian.

25. I know all the words to almost every Jimmy Buffett song.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Let There Be Peace On Earth" by the Liberty Voices
(I always pick a favorite Christmas album every year. This year, it's this one.)

***UPDATE*** now it's almost January, and I'm digging "Bubbles" by Colbie Caillat.

What's In It for ME?

2008-11-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd take a hot minute out and highlight this past Wednesday for you. I left many, many commentaries on my Facebook status on Wednesday. But thought it important to copy and paste here...

I am currently interviewing for a front desk clerk at the hotel. In today's job market, I received 69 applications for one (1) position. Needless to stay, it's quite competitive, as we offer full time, full benefits.

For a little comic relief, here's a synopsis of those interviews.

Out of 19 on my list with scheduled interviews, four (4) showed up.

Four!!!

Greatest Hits:

"You're only paying $10 an hour? I get that right now - ON UNEMPLOYMENT!"
(Toma thinking - "Yeah...well..lemme know how that works out for ya.")

"I need to know, up front - when is my first raise, and how much?"
(Your first raise will be your behind coming out of your chair...on your way to the door.)

"What are 4 10-hour days? What do you mean? Will I get overtime since it's over 8 hours? I have to have Saturdays off."
(Toma thinking - "Yeah...well..I have to be 120 pounds...BUT I'M NOT.")

"I normally get $16 an hour for front desk clerk work - let me do the math and see if your health, life insurance, 401k and retirement plan really calculate out as beneficial to me."
(Toma, again, thinking - "Yeah...well..lemme know how that works out for ya.")

and lastly...nervous twitchy cougar lady who smelled like an ashtray, was made up as if she were doing Kabuki theater, said, "You know, I AM a people person."

Happy to report, though, I've selected Selena (name changed to protect the innocent). A recent college graduate, personality plus, hotel front desk experience and...

a Mac owner.

Yes. This has what it's come to. I can judge you by your choice of home computers.

All kidding aside...what's WRONG with people? I mean, sure...there's a significant number of people in my orbit that just don't "get it". But after this round of interviews, I actually stopped and thought to myself, "Ohmigosh. I'm an elitist. I am actually so much smarter than everyone else."

Of course I'm not.

But - this...this...sense of entitlement. I have never, EVER seen anything like it in my life. Did my parents' generation say this about us? I think not. I've worked since the day I turned 16. Heck, when I was 12, my Mom had me stocking tacky souvenirs for cash, under the table! It's one thing to feel you're 'entitled' to something if you work hard and if you've earned it. But, this group? THIS GROUP made the Wal-Mart greeter look busy. And hey - not to knock Wally World, at all. But - come on.

I'll close this small rant today with one of my favorite Mark Twain quotes; "The world doesn't owe you anything; it was here first."

At least I can laugh at people who tell me they make more money on unemployment. I almost came back with "Really? Did you just listen to to the words that came out of your mouth?"

But I couldn't. Because - elitist that I am, I own real estate on the high road.

Enjoy the extra hour tonight,
Toma
xo

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong

No Day But Today!

2008-10-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to relay just how beautiful Monterey is in October. I'm gathering you guessed that by now, due to my lack of blogging. I do love the blog - but love the weather more!!!

I have begun a new adventure; both professionally and personally. Professionally, I have taken on additional duties with the Morale, Welfare & Recreation Directorate here on the Presidio, as our fearless leader, Bob, has gone downrange for 6 months to support our troops that are deployed. Although honored and thankful for the opportunity, I am NOT enjoying the whole 'work getting in the way of my life' thing.

But that's not all.

Around the same time, I was inspired by my dear friend, Sharon Diane Cataldo Fenneran (shot out!). Through the beautiful invention we call the Internets, I watched Sharon shrink over 60 pounds. And she looks FANTASTIC.

A busy Mom of two, and a ROCK STAR wife, I said to myself..."If she can do it, I can do it!" So, I asked her, "How'd you do it?"

"I hired a personal trainer."

Although expensive and time consuming, I took the plunge. Thankfully, my trainer is contracted through the military, so her rates are cheap cheap cheap - and she is INCREDIBLE! Her name is Lisa B, and I'm considering moving in with her.

I kid.

So, with the temporary promotion and the trainer hired, I embarked on "Toma's 10 Week Challenge". I started on the 29th of September and am on this journey through Thanksgiving. I mean, I know this is a LIFESTYLE change, my life will NEVER be the same - but, for now, my initial entry is 10 weeks.

3 weeks in and I'm down 11.5 pounds!! WOOT, WOOT!!

Yes, the exercise makes me feel better. Yes, the eating healthy is the right thing to do. Yes yes...YES!!!! I get it - you endorphin nazis! I'm just SOOOO not the exercise junkie. I have the cute clothes and the motivation and the habit down...I got it. I just...ugh...hate the gym - hate being there. It's boring and I'd much rather be at home, on my couch.

With cake.

You know what drives me? I mean, besides results? The sauna - afterward. I know it's sillly - but, whatever works, right? I love the sauna, 15 minutes of pure heat and sweat...ahhhh...it's a dream. Feels like I'm home in Florida!

Lisa's got me on a pretty tight leash. I work out with her on Tuesday nights - she kicks my butt! Then, the other 4 days a week, I do a minimum of 45 minutes of hard cardio, with my heart rate between 122-144. I have been averaging about 130, and it sure brings on the sweat and the heavy breathing!

So, just like work is getting in the way of my life. Now, my working OUT is getting in the way of my lying around. My DVR is so full, that I can't keep up with all my shows!

I know. My problems.

I just can't bring myself to drop money on a treadmill for my living room when I know it will only function as a clothes hanger.

To the gym we go.

I also might add that my cousin, Phillip, and his beautiful wife, Amy, are contestants on the current season of 'The Biggest Loser'. I won't spoil you with the outcome, but let me just tell you...it was enough to get me up off the couch and get. Me. MOVING. I am so proud of them, and am wholeheartedly encouraged by their journey. That was it!!!

That was the day I said, "No day but today."

In other news (as if the temporary promotion and the new workout program weren't enough) I've taken on a second (really, THIRD, if you count my babysitting on weekends) job at a wonderful little Baptist church here in Monterey. It's funny, it's a job, and will certainly help with my vacation savings account, but I have found a church home.

It reminds me so much of First Baptist, Kissimmee, in the early days. Everyone in the sanctuary knows my name, everyone greets visitors with a warm smile and welcome...and (most of all), this church has a heart for the community, and serving it. It is a church where I can serve, worship and grow. In my 4 years in Monterey, I haven't 'really' found a church home. At the same time, many of you know, I interviewed with two other churches in the area for different music positions, but none worked out.

Now I know why. God was preparing me for Lighthouse Baptist (and vice versa).

You know what I like more than anything? Wednesday night. Church supper, then Bible study, then ensemble practice, which I lead.

Just like First Baptist Kissimmee!

Just like home.

I'm working on vacation plans for 2009 - this year, because of so much work travel, I really didn't do too much 'fun' traveling, save for a long weekend in Hawaii. With the help of babysitting and LBC, I'll take Kayla on a Spring Break adventure...somewhere sunny, and all-inclusive...maybe the Dominican Republic, because it's uber-cheap there. Then, next fall (around this time, next year), I'll return with my favorite girls to St. John and Jost van Dyke.

Work hard, play hard, baby!

Sharon, I know you're reading this. YOU are my muse! Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement. I love you!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "No Day But Today" by the Cast of 'Rent'

Brief Like a Pirate!!!

2008-09-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

So - here I am at beautiful Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas; where I've been for 2 weeks. I attended the Army Management Staff College - Civilian Education System's Basic Course.

All in all, this was one of THE MOST productive classes I've ever been a part of. I know it's a 'buzz term', but this particular class really challenged me to step outside my comfort zone and take a more strategic look at my leadership philosophy, and how I function as a member of a team. I could go on and on, but we'd be here all week listening to all the touchy-feely-love-fest-inner-soul rantings. A litany, if you will. It was unlike any other class I'd been to. The advisers led us, but didn't instruct us. They structured us, but didn't put a strict time line on us. There was no death by PowerPoint. If anyone out there is a Department of the Army Civilian, send me a note - I'll do my commercial and persuade you to enroll! You won't be the same.

I'm getting on a plane tomorrow afternoon; look forward to my dog and my ocean view. Two weeks is a LONG time. I can't tell you how excited I am to buy groceries! Produce! A gallon of milk! Hooray!

The class was 96 people, total. However, last Monday, they divided our class into smaller groups, or 'Seminars'. I was fortunate to be in Seminar 3 - only 11 people (compared to the standard 16), and we had 3 of the most incredible advisers/instructors I've ever had the pleasure of working with. We had a project each week, and those 11 people were divided into teams. The first week, teams of 4 or 3. Great project, great team-building, and I'm proud of the product we delivered.

This week, we were in 2 groups, only. Same-type problem charge, but with different people. We delivered our product today.

In honor of 2008 International Talk Like a Pirate Day (tomorrow),
my team...the "Leavenworth Lounge Lizards of Pain", chose to deliver our final project brief...

As pirates.

Leavenworth Lounge Lizards of PAIN
Fort Leavenworth, September 2008

Did the project brief require a theme? No.

Costumes? Nope.

We, however, chose to believe in the fact that the Army - yes, THE ARMY - has a sense of humor.

HOOAH(RRRRRRGHH!).

We got rave reviews.

This week, my role in the brief (again, taking less of a front-row seat...wayyy outside of my comfort zone) was 'slide monkey' (you know - advancing the slides, so easy a monkey could do it?). I actually loved sitting back, letting go, and enjoying the ride. I was the recorder, so - once the briefing came 'round, my work was done.

As Claire (black suit, next to me) began our presentation and got to the team introductions, we were introduced, one by one, using...

...our Official Pirate Names.

Mine?

Dirty Esmerelda.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me) by The Jonas Brothers

Fall = FOOTBALL

2008-09-05T22:10:00.000-07:00

I absolutely adore the fall.
Not for the weather, though.

For the FOOTBALL! Happy to report that my Hurricanes came back storming...first opening game 52-7 against Charleston Southern (ok, I know - who CAN'T beat that team?) was at Dolphins Stadium and it was a HUGE success, by all accounts.

Suzy (my mother) threw the biggest, baddest tailgate in the lot (people were jealous, I'm not kidding) - and the standard was met. I, unfortunately, was not there, but baby brother & girlfriend were in attendance and I got frequent phone calls/texts and instant messages.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the victory came.

But this week. Ah. This week. We're in the Swamp. Against the University of Florida Gators. We return to the Swamp for the first time since 2002, when we won 41-16.

But the Gators weren't #5 back then.

I have faith, I believe in my team and I know we'll come out of that Swamp alive. LET'S GO, CANES!!! Look at that girl - man, we haven't seen a lot of Kayla lately, have we? I have to say, I miss that kid like a limb. Sebastian moved to Miami in April of this year, and not having my favorite girl within arm's reach feels like somebody performed an amputation on me. Thankfully, though, we've got iChat, constant photo updates via BlackBerry and Christmas just around the corner, when I'll travel to South Florida to be with everyone.

I'm just back from a work trip to Louisville. It was the once-every-two-years meeting of every MWR professional in the Army. Although the conference was full of work and constant sessions/meetings/workshops, I did manage to get some personal time with some of the key leaders in my specific organization; and it was of GREAT benefit!

There are new things on the horizon for me, and I'm SO encouraged! I will, more than likely, be leaving Monterey in the next year. I adore my life here, it's been such a blessing! I'm coming up on 4 years now - the longest I have been ANYWHERE...even longer than Germany...and, it's time to move on. I want to be back on the East coast, near my family. Near Kayla. Not quite ready to lay all my cards out, as nothing is set in stone...but I promise, I'll blog! Stay tuned!

A quick Labor Day weekend getaway to Hawaii. And before you think me the elitist jet-setter, I used frequent flier miles, stayed with a friend for free, and spent LESS THAN $100 for five days!!! In Hawaii. Again, as much as I crab and moan about all the work travel, the miles PAY OFF! It was so fantastic to just...sigh...exhale. I got to spend the weekend with Tamar & her family (Tamar, who is my best girlfriend from Monterey). The weather was perfect, the company divine and the rest much-needed.

Tamar and I - Kailua Beach - Oahu, HI

No surprise to anyone reading here, I managed to meet up with two other friends from Germany - Melanie Williams (Hooper) and Karen-Maria Anderson, who both now live on Oahu.

Karen and I - Kailua Beach - Oahu, HI

The Williams Family - Schofield Barracks - Oahu, HI

Friend in every port, people. Friend in every port. I never pay for a hotel. What a blessing it is!

Off to Kansas on Sunday, for a 2-week class. This - dare I say it - will be IT for work travel, for me. At least until after the first of the year (Lord willing). I'm excited to buy groceries again. You heard me. Buy groceries. I have been home so infrequently in the last year that I can't even get a decent load of groceries for fear of spoilage.

And - finally, the election. I sat up last night, way too late, and watched John McCain tell the most moving, inspiring and emotional speech I've ever heard. I was in tears, all alone, in my living room.

Country first. AMEN, Senator McCain! AMEN! Just when I thought I couldn't get 'that' excited about him, he picks the incredible Sarah Palin (if you haven't read this commentary yet, you should - it's the best I've read since her announcement), then he delivers a speech like he did last night.

I am extremely proud of my country - and proud to support the McCain/Palin ticket. I'll be volunteering each Wednesday night between now and the November election at Monterey4McCain Headquarters.

I won't make fun or talk smack about the other candidates, or what they CAN or CANNOT do; nor will I do that to anyone who disagrees with me. I just refuse to get into a "My Dad is better than your Dad" or "But your Dad believes this and voted this way" peeing contest. I won't.

You know why? Because THAT is why John McCain spent 6 years in the Hanoi Hilton.

So we can choose.

God bless America.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Dreamer" by Chris Brown (thanks, Boo - you hit the nail on the head tonight, and I love you)

Weekends That Never End

2008-08-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

All is well and I'm nestled into my new house; it was only two doors down...but, for some reason, once I moved, I let all the boxes sit in front of me....

And I couldn't move a muscle.

Enter - Super KIM! My girlfriend of nearly 20 years, Kim Zeller, flew in shortly after I moved - and, like a tornado (going the GOOD direction), she whipped in, and VOILA! My house was set. We had a fantastic time together! She totally rocks.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Every year, Monterey hosts the Monterey Beer Festival at the fairgrounds. It's a day of sampling beers from all over the country/world/area. I went last year with my neighbor, Scott. We multiplied our posse this year to include my friend, Colin, and my dear friend, Ben Clarke, from San Francisco. Ben and I go wayyyyyy back to the Garmisch days. Even though he only lives 2 hours away, we hadn't seen one another in 10 years. Life just gets in the way of life, I guess.

It was if no time had passed. The day was, quite honestly, one of the best Saturdays I'd had in years. Sunday followed, with a fantastic breakfast at 'From Scratch' (my latest Monterey favorite), and a lazy movie day on the couch.

Here's a few miscellaneous shots from this summer.

Create Your Own

I've enjoyed being home for a spell; getting ready to get back on the road at the end of the month, though. A few days in Louisville for a conference, then Labor Day Weekend in Hawaii! Who says you can't vacation when you're poor? Thanks to all those trips, I had enough frequent flier miles for a trip to Oahu for a long weekend! I'm excited to see Tamar & her boys and do a little relaxing (not to mention a free place to stay in Mililani). After Hawaii, 2 weeks in Kansas for another class.

The machine keeps on!!!

I'm feeling that my time here in Monterey is drawing to a close and it's time to move on. I love my life, my job, my friends, my house - it is all so fantastic and fulfilling. The growing cost of things, though - especially in this area - is starting to take a toll on the bank account. "But now is the time to buy - prices are down."

Yeah. Notsomuch in Monterey. God bless this great state I live in, but it's just stupid expensive. I have no immediate plans and no real offers happening...but there are a few things in the works. Plus, with my entire family on the East coast, there's just not a whole lot anchoring me here. Sure, it's pretty and my job is incredible - but does my resume keep me warm on a cold night?

Promise to keep everyone updated. For now, I'll continue to clip coupons and babysit on the weekends to enjoy my time here "on the coast of somewhere beautiful".

More soon!!! Lots of love!!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Say" by John Mayer - man, I love the strings in that song

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Bessie

2008-07-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

Today I'm going to put the spotlight Andrea Bess "Bessie" Abel. She deserves an entire post - and she's going to get one.

Bessie and I - Mannequins - August 2007

Bessie and I have been friends for 20 years; we met at Disney in the entertainment department when we both dressed up as cartoons for beer money. I went off to college and eventually to work for Uncle Sugar - and Bessie rose up through the ranks and continues to spread the magic as an Entertainment Coordinator at EPCOT, where she works, full time.

In late November of 2000, we (Ricardo and I, my roommate at the time - I was living in Orlando) had a room free at our house. Around the same time, Bessie was thinking of moving out of her place. The deal was done. She moved in - and, to this day, it was one of the most important years of my life.

You know how there's an expression "a man's man"? Well, Bessie is a "woman's woman". She's a hero - all the time. She can sew anything, cook anything, fix anything. Ricardo and I always joked, "She's Emeril in the kitchen, Martha Stewart in the house and MacGuyver with the fix-its."

In times of crisis, she never coddled, pitied or felt sorry for you - she just helped you...sigh...fix it. She nursed me through more heartbreaks, family drama and job decisions than I could ever count.

In the fall of 2001, she went through a heartbreak - it was a rough one, but late-night Lambrusco on our back porch helped. Around the same time, a nice young man named Ryan (who, coincidentally, was the same name of the fella that had just broken her heart) approached me. Ryan also worked with us, as a parade technician; and wanted to ask Bessie out.

He knew, even then - the best way to the milk.

Good man.

I lobbied for Ryan (who's first name is actually 'Sabian', to which I call him by, still!), but Bessie was having NONE of it. "FIRST OF ALL - I am NOT dating ANOTHER GUY named 'Ryan'!! SECOND OF ALL - no more younger guys!"

We [Ryan and I, along with some coaxing from Ricardo] continued to work on her - and, eventually (and when I say 'eventually', I think it was about 2 weeks), on her birthday in October of 2001, Bessie and Ryan went on their first date.

In April of this year, they celebrated their 4-year anniversary.

Bessie, Sabian and I - Mannequins - August 2007

Naturally, the 'itch' came 'round this fall - and they decided to 'try' starting a family (right around the time the photo above was taken, actually). In true Bessie form, the VERY FIRST (no lie) time they tried....

Bada bing.

May 2008 - just a few weeks before due date!

Welcome to one of the most incredible families you could ever be born into, Miss Gena Ryanni Abel:

Gena Ryanni Abel
Born: 15 July 2008
Weight: 7.5 pounds
4:15pm
Winnie Palmer Hospital, Orlando

Andrea - you will never know the joy you have brought into my life...until now. You are one of the true pillars in my life, and I am happy beyond belief for all three of you. You are beautiful, bright and brilliant beyond compare.

Congratulations to you and Sabian...I love you all so much...TO THE MOON AND BACK!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Baby Mine" by Bette Midler

Adios!!!

2008-07-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

No surprise to anyone - I'm blogging from an airport. On the way to our nation's capital. I'll be there for 2 weeks, taking a class that will prepare me for a (temporary) promotion. More on that later. I arrived at LAX, this morning, to a 4-hour layover and a terminal change. My fantastic travel agents at Carlson Wagonlit had to book me on the lowest fare (government regs, you know!). That meant I was on United from Monterey to LAX, but Alaska Air from LAX to Washington Reagan.

I leave terminal 8 and hop on the bus for terminal 3. I arrive at the Alaska Airlines terminal to find that I didn't have my boarding pass yet (the United rep couldn't provide one in Monterey, because they do not partner with Alaska). So, I walk up to the kiosk (I want to avoid the MONSTER line,inside), hit the screen to start.

It takes a moment, then begins to give me on-screen directions.

In Spanish.

Yes. The kind folks that program the kiosk check-ins have decided that Spanish must now be the FIRST option, then you may select 'ENGLISH' at the bottom of the menu.

Just because I like to think the very best in situations, I say to myself, "Oh, I bet there was a Spanish speaker right before me." So, I purposely exit all the way out - and start again.

Spanish.

First option.

Goodbye, sweet America...goodbye.

Once through the ridiculous line at security and near anal-probe that is now the TSA (Thanks, Uncle Osama!), I position myself at Starbucks, next to a power outlet and settle in for a nice 3-hour wait. Met a lovely couple from WisCAHHNsin whose son is the piano player for Wynton Marsalis. They were lovely (Hi, Mom! No, the son is not single, I already checked).

Next up? Hot guy architecht with the Spanish accent.

Thanks, Starbucks!

As Hotty McHotterson Architect goes to work - I glance over at the counter. There, in line, was none other than:

Yes. Yes that's right.

DICE.

But - this photo (above) is NOT the photo I snapped. Because, you see, I wasn't exactly sure it was him. I watch for a while as he contemplates his order. I take a quick inventory and here is what I find:

a. White knee socks with black tennies
b. He weighs in at 3 bills. Easy
c. He was holding...as his carry-on luggage - a bag of laundry, complete with drawstring

No. This can't be. Is the Dice-Man having hard times? It was not. Good.

I don't like to bother celebs on their private time, but it was EATING. ME. ALIVE. As he was leaving Starbucks, I mouth (to his 'handler'), "Is that Andrew Dice Clay?" to which the handler gave me the confirmation head nod.

Suddenly, all I wanted to say was "pobrecito."

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Thread" by Jason Karabahn (because it's been a rough few weeks, but I'm crawling my way out, Praise the Lord!)

Just Let Me Be...Legally Blonde

2008-06-24T16:47:00.001-07:00

The following is a list of things I SHOULD be doing:

1. Preparing my budget for fiscal year 2009. It's due next Thursday.
2. Finalizing my pre-work for a class I'm taking in D.C. on 14 July. It was supposed to have been complete by 6 June.
3. Organizing my kitchen, bedroom and guest room to get ready for my move on Saturday.

The following is what I AM doing:

1. Blogging. At work. Your tax dollars at work!
2. Listening to, over and over again, the soundtrack to 'Legally Blonde - The Musical'. No, not the movie (although snaps to Reese, I'm a big fan). The soundtrack to the Broadway musical.

You heard me.

I have decided, I know who I am. I adore country music, Christian music and...MUSCIALS!!! Yes - I know every word to the entire score of Grease (jealous????), West Side Story, Pippin, and countless others.

I really haven't had the time to veg in front of the TV like I'm so good at (see paragraph #1), but I HAVE been watching "Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search For Elle Woods" as if my life depends on it.

Which is does not.

But I don't care!

Musicals make me happy, especially this one. It's mindless entertainment about stereotypical-'dumb'-blonde makes good. That's really what it boils down to. I downloaded the album from iTunes this morning, put it on my iPod, then cranked up the Bose. I sang into my hairbrush and danced around my bedroom before I got ready for work.

Now that I am AT work, it seems that, mentally, I am still doing that. And now, I'm inspired and energized and READY to finish that classwork and start my budget!

So, see - musicals are good for productivity!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: 'So Much Better' by Laura Bell Bundy

'RRRRRROAR' Goes the Lion...

2008-06-09T14:30:00.001-07:00

Yes - this is an epic 'wrap up' update that Elj hates, but sometimes, ya just gotta!

Well, I’ve done it. I have finally made the move from PC to Mac, and just like my friend, Matt, said…I have NO IDEA what I waited on! It’s divine! It’s fantastic! It’s a whole new life!

And I know nothing about it.

I have the basics – I can get my email, find my photos, etc. But web design, Garage Band and all that good stuff is still to come. Stay tuned.

More good stuff. As of Friday, 6 June, I have my Penn State Nittany Lion. What does that mean? It means I went back-and-forth from Monterey to the East Coast (sometimes at Penn State, sometimes at the Army training center near Boston) 11 times. I completed 11 intense weeks and I now have my Advanced Certification in Hospitality Management, as well as my Advanced Certification in Strategic Hospitality Leadership. I am writing this as I’m on the plane home from Boston right now. The good news about this ‘good stuff’ is that the back-and-forthing will be less and less (Praise God!). I will still have a fair amount of travel, but nothing like it’s been the last year or so. I’ll be home a lot more and that makes for a happy Chester and a restful Toma.
I'm working backwards for a moment (cue transition music). Before I went to Boston, I made a surprise cameo in Orlando to celebrate Ricardo's 40th (Ricardo was my longtime roommate during the Disney years). His partner, John "Hoggle" had the surprise party planned...but the additional surprise was me! Great fun and it was fantastic to spend the evening with some old Disney friends. The highlight (other than the obvious) was spending the evening with Andrea "Bessie" and her pregnant belly. Bessie also lived with Ricardo & I. She is soooo special to me, and I became her paparazzi for the evening.

Bright and early the next morning, before leaving for Boston, I drove half way to Miami (Ft. Pierce) and met Mom & Simmer for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

Which could have sold me before anything more was said. Man, I can tear up some Cracker Barrel.

Then she threw in a bonus "I'll bring Kayla!"

AAAAHHHHHHHHGGGHHH! I miss that kid. Here's a slideshow of the weekend. Oh! And because I was in a surprising mood, I had a spare 30 minutes before I had to be at the airport, so I made a drop-in at the Johnson's....Traci a dear friend of mine from Disney (who was not at the party the night before).

Off to the airport, up to Boston, and you're brought up to date. Two great girlfriends from Disney live in the area, so I got some love from them, too! Also got an evening with my Camp Towanda friend, Audra (no photo at press time)...

Here's some shots:

Create Your Own

Are you still with me? Keep up, everyone...keep up!

Last step - as a reward to myself for completing my Lion, I treated myself to Kenny Chesney tickets last night.

In the front (also known as the 'sandbar').

I took my girlfriend, Heather. She's my 'concert friend' and just completed her Master's Degree in Graphic Design. Here's a few of my favorites from last night

She's a good Mac tip giver.

Oh! I'm moving! And I have a new cell phone! And a new email address! If you're on my email list, you should have an email in your in-box already with all the updates.

Summer is here, and the sun is out - life's good!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney (duh!)

Berserkley

2008-05-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really wonder about the people in this beautiful state I live in. There are some FREAK SHOWS up in here! I tend to tune out, most of the time. I am not political - mostly because I'm just not smart enough to defend the way I choose - I choose it for me and I can't always tell you why. HOWEVER - I AM for the great men and women of our Armed Forces, who allow me that freedom. I will go off at the mouth for hours on end to ANYBODY out to get Uncle Sam's men and women.

So, I've been following this story for a while. If you haven't heard about the BEYOND RIDICULOUS PROTEST happening at Berkeley, click on the link to read about the lunacy.

In March, Jon Stewart crawled into my (and many people's) brain and made this video. Part of me wants to jack a fire truck and head up there with the hoses...full tilt.

Most significant line of Rob Riggle (the reporter; also a USMC veteran)?

RR: "If only there was an organization that was sworn to defend that free speech..."

Silly pink hippy: "Wouldn't that be great?"

So - for Jim McKnight, for John May, for Mike Borneo, for Jim Manel, for Tony Barrett, for Travis Groethe, for Matt Phelps, and every other United States Marine.....

SEMPER FIDELIS!!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: The Marine Corps Hymn (DUH!)

UPDATE I wish I was kidding when I tell you this was my Bible verse of the day (on Facebook): "For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure." --Proverbs 11:14

(I was so meant to blog about this today)

It's the Little Things

2008-05-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

I have been back and forth to the East Coast, basically, every other week, since March. It's my favorite. I can see the finish line (June 6th), when I will finalize my certification and be done with all the back-and-forthing. There is still travel every month between now and September, but not nearly this every-other-week business.

.................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the extent of my crabbing today. I'm really not bothered; I rack up the frequent flier miles enough to upgrade to Business Class, and I've only had a few minor travel woes. Honestly, it's not THAT bad. I'm off again on Thursday; this time I'll fly to South Carolina to my folks' house to celebrate my Mimi's 87th birthday. This woman is 87 going on 50, I'm not kidding. She does her own taxes and just 3 years ago she sold her (and subsequently bought a new) house, completely on her own. No realtor, no banker, no broker. She did it 100% with paperwork she downloaded from the internet. Alfreda does not mess around, and I absolutely dig how 'with it' she is. Again, I have ZERO complaints about travel when I get to be around her. The end.

Anyway, when something so small makes me happy, I realize I have to get out more. Here it comes:

Last week, I had to deposit a check that my friend, Gisela wrote me. I do not bank, locally - I bank at the Disney credit union (thanks to 13 years of employment, I can still bank at their credit union - Partners Federal Credit Union, formerly Vista Federal Credit Union). ANYWAY - the downfall of no local banking is when I do have to make actual deposits.

Well, leave it to Disney.

Shortly after moving to Monterey, I realize that they are part of a big network - and if you give them your zip code, they can tell you a local ATM where you can (not only) withdraw cash at no charge, but you can DEPOSIT. Lovely. All works well, as I do get a lot of checks, because of my babysitting gigs.

Each time I make a deposit, I sit in my car, completely fill out the deposit slip and the envelope (I always do this before getting out of my car - SAFETY FIRST!). I do this, as always...but this time...as I walk up to the ATM, I see something different.

A new ATM!

Oh, that's fun! So, put my card in, punch in my code, and when I was ready to put in my deposit envelope, OH NO! NEW QUESTIONS!

"What type of deposit?" (CHECK/CASH)

Toma selects 'CHECK'

"Insert check, no envelope."

(Um...ok?)

I rip open my freshly inked envelope (trees in the forest are crying), and insert the check.

ZOOM! Instant! An image of the check APPEARS ON THE SCREEN!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? There's a little scanner in there?

So, yes - it reads the check, you put the amount in, and bada-bing. No deposit slip. No envelope. Never again.

This is. EXCITING!!!!!

And I am...pathetic!!!!

Two weeks ago, I write an entire blog about my new washer and dryer; this week, my new ATM.

Seriously, why don't I just go adopt the 12 cats and start TiVo'ing QVC? Just get it over with, already.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: 'Summertime' by Kenny Chesney
I am so excited for the summer (regardless of the fact that we never really have summer in Monterey, I'm still fired up - it's been HOT here! I LOVE IT!). Oh! And I just watched the ACM Awards on my DCR - congrats, on EOTY, 4th year in a row, KC! Nice!!

8th Grade, Much?

2008-05-03T02:45:00.000-07:00

I am sarcastic.

Let me start off by saying that - I embrace my sarcasm and it keeps me warm at night. More often than not, THE MAJORITY OF THE HUMAN RACE picks up on that sarcasm, since it is so blatant.

That is my disclaimer.

You will soon learn why.

I travel a lot, for work. I don't love it, but I don't hate it, either. As much as I'd like to complain about the crummy beds and endless flights to the east coast, I do find a way to be thankful for a) the frequent flier miles and b) the chance to see friends that live at/around the places I have to go, for work.

Between now and the end of September, I have eight (8) weeks travel. Ouufffh. And, I can't really count how much I had last year. But it was a lot. I have been extremely fortunate, though. I rarely experience delays, cancellations, lost luggage, etc.. Even when I do, it's never that bad - and I usually try to find a blessing, somewhere (remember, this incident, last year?).

When you do get delayed, my advice? Just embrace it - learn to laugh about it - because you CAN'T (no matter how hard you try) control it. Also, I find, the nicer you are, the more headway you gain, with representatives of the airline industry. Sure, some believe the 'squeaky wheel gets the oil', and the more you complain the more you get...but the eternal idealist in me just wants to be nice.

(With sarcasm thrown in - just another service I offer)

Today - I was subject to a big delay with my flight leaving Washington, DC. There were storms in the Midwest, and this delayed everything going to Chicago. Had I remained on my delayed flight to Chicago, I would have missed my connection to San Jose and (possibly) not gotten home tonight. As I was standing in the United line, waiting for the next available agent, the gate agent came on to announce "We have SO FEW flights to re-book you in, and a limited staff here at the gate; we suggest you call 1-800-UNITED-1 for a faster rebooking."

I took their advice, but (instead) called my government travel provider. As I'm waiting in line, my lovely agent at Carlson Wagonlit rebooked me on an American Flight (nothing more from United getting to Cali tonight), which (lucky for me!) was right across the gate from United. Routing from Washington --> Dallas/Ft. Worth --> San Jose. Terrific. Will get shuttle from San Jose. No big whoop - I can roll! After all! It's weather! What can you do?

As I approached the counter, my United agent (Nick - loved him), was thrilled to find I'd already done all the hard work....just "get me your new flight info so I can re-route your bag". Good ol' Saint Nick.

Wait. someone else has that name. Anyway.

Here's where it gets fun (And it has absolutely nothing to do with an airline or flight delays. Well, sorta.).

So, I make my way over to my new gate at American - maybe, 100 yards. I get in the queue (because my travel agent just booked the ticket, she couldn't get me a seat assignment) - to see THEIR gate agent to get a seat. I'm all alone at the gate, one customer in front of me. He finishes, but the gate agent was completely consumed with rebooking others.

As I'm waiting to hear the resounding "NNNNNNNNNNEXT?", a very large line forms behind me (which I paid no mind to).

As she's frantically typing away, the gate display changes and it shows that...NOW..my flight to Dallas has been delayed; which will then (potentially) put me into the SAME situation I would have faced in Chicago - missing my connection to San Jose.

(should have stayed on the Chicago flight...should have stayed on the Chicago flight... should have stayed on the Chicago flight... )

The gate agent announces, "Ladies & gentlemen, if you're waiting to get an update on the Dallas flight, we have one other flight to Dallas to clear before yours, please be patient and we'll be right with you."

She works for a few more minutes, and I (politely) say "Ma'am, I'm sorry to interrupt. I know you're working to clear this Dallas flight, but if I go on the next one, I may be in jeopardy with my connection, so if you've just cleared your standby list and there's room for one more, I'd like to get on this flight..."

All of a sudden, a HUGE chorus of "WE ARE, TOO!!!" from behind me pipes up.

I turn around, look a little surprised at all the people behind me.

Lady 2 people behind me and I make eye contact. I make some type of snarky facial expression, with a big smile, and a open palm against my chest (so as to clutch my pearls) and go "Well I was here first!"

(insert sarcasm yuk yuk yuk...)

To which this woman replies...

"That may be...but I bet I have more miles than you."

Um.

What?

Oh, so maybe I didn't get the memo. When you are in flight delays and are being rebooked and re-routed, we're now on a SENIORITY system?

You have more points. Oh, good! Then, please! You go first! Allow me to lie down so you may walk on me with your ruby slippers, Dorothy.

After I swallowed the small amount of pride [vomit] I felt come up, I look right into her eye and say, "Did you really just say that to me? Really? You know I was kidding."

"Well, you said it first."

Now I'm choking on my own vomit.

Anyway, I then make simple banter with the man who was directly behind me (who - I am most certain - was tasting his lunch from Fuddrucker's all over again), and I wait for the nice American Airlines lady to call on me.

Well, Nellie Olson couldn't handle it any longer.

(She begins to shout, over everyone) "EXCUSE ME - WHERE IS YOUR ADMIRAL'S CLUB? I CAN'T WAIT HERE - I NEED BETTER SERVICE...WHERE IS THE ADMIRAL'S CLUB?"

American Airlines rep: "Are you a member?"

I then suddenly wished I was wearing Depends.

American Airlines: 1
Pompous Skinny Lady: 0

Hours later, I saw her on my flight.

In coach.

Middle seat.

As I write this, I am on a re-re-booked flight. Made it to Dallas, very late. En route to San Jose, very late. Must rent a car to get home. Very late.

But - AH! Here is the good news I got today:

1. I am going to see Dolly Parton on August 5th (Happy Birthday to me!)

2. I am getting a new BlackBerry (and switching to AT&T, those of you that have it, we talk FREE!)

3. I got a rental car, one way, one night, for $35 (even though it's the Army's money - girl still loves her discounts!)

(I rented from Budget. Original price? $89 for a one-way rental. When he asked me if I had a Costco membership, it went to $35 - THERE'S YOUR TIP FOR TODAY! If you have a Costo membership, rent a car from Budget! Re-DONK-ulous discount!!!!)

So it's not all bad. I'm getting home a lot later - it's questionable whether there will be a bag, but. I. Don't. CARE. It's the weekend, I'm going home, sleeping in my own bed and spooning my dog.

It could be a LOT worse.

I could still be wondering where the Admiral's Club is.

Update - 2am - I'm home! With bag!!!!!!

WOOF!! Help Me (and Mommy) End Pet Homlessness

2008-04-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

Chester here, writing from Mom's computer!

I'm a very smart dog.

As you know, Mommy was so fortunate, last year, to have raised a remarkable $2700, and walked an amazing 50 miles, for the fight against breast cancer. Many of you reading this were part of that incredible cause - and I know how grateful she is to all you did for her.

This year, I asked her to take it down a notch.

This year, she's walking for my buddies.

Mommy and I will be participating in The SPCA for Monterey County's 13th Annual Wag n' Walk! We're joining The SPCA in their goal of ending pet homelessness and assuring compassionate and humane treatment of all animals in our community.

You may or may not know this, but I was adopted THREE DIFFERENT TIMES before I found Mommy (that's what I tell people, because it really did happen that way; I found her, not the other way around). Three times! I wouldn't be where I am today without the generosity of a shelter, supported by wonderful people like you.

Ask her to tell you the story, sometime. It's a good one.

I am asking you, personally, to help. Your tax-deductible gift will make a difference in the lives of countless animals. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link here. If you would prefer, you can also send your tax-deductible contribution via mail. Please send/make check payable to:

The SPCA for Monterey County
Attn: Wag n' Walk
P.O. Box 3058
Monterey, CA 93942

In the memo section of your check, please put: WAG 'N WALK - Toma Rusk

Any amount, great or small, helps make a difference for the animals. I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress (I'll sneak into the office and type on Mommy's computer, just like I am right now!)!

Thank you. Your contributions will help more than 12,000 of my friends, whose lives are touched each year by The SPCA for Monterey County.

If, for some reason, that link above won't work, please visit my page, by copy and pasting this link:

http://spcam.convio.net/site/TR/Events/TeamRaiser?px=1012821&pg=personal&fr_id=1040&et=cgOReYtnlS_CQWX-yHWTIQ..&s_tafId=1481

WOOF WOOF!!!
Love,
Chester
xxxooo

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Canine Love" by The Bacon Brothers

I Think I'm in Love

2008-04-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

Home Depot delivered this to my door - today.

I took the plunge a few weeks ago - after my old, scratch and dent set (that I paid $300 for 3 years ago) was leaking so badly it flooded into my kitchen. My friend, Michele, had this set - and swears by it, so it was an easy decision.

I can even wash my throw rugs in it - no more creepy launderette!

Is it wrong that I'd just like to spend a night at home, alone, just doing laundry?

Showing my age, much?

Sigh....but I can't spend all night doing laundry. I settled on some blankets and towels (Did I just spend a sentence of my blog talking about mundane tasks? Me? The satirist?) - as I've got a monster project due before I leave for DC on Saturday....

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans

New Artist Alert!

2008-04-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

You know - I have really eased up on my iTunes purchases...given my new addiction to talk radio and all...I just don't buy music like I used to.

And I know what a travesty that is. If any of you know me, you know that my 80GB iPod is half full. HALF. Do you know how many songs that is?

6,660.

You heard me.

Oh, and there's 3 movies and a few episodes of Work Out, Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Open Bar. So, it's not all music. Don't even wind me up about my reality TV. No judgement!

Needless to say, I'm much more selective* these days about the music I buy. And my Visa card thanks me. However, I have been eagerly anticipating this group's debut CD, as their single teased us months ago. Well, the album dropped this week - and I've got two words:

HIT. MACHINE.

It's good - go to Wal-Mart or iTunes or somewhere legal to purchase it. You'll be so glad. It's not just country, not just southern rock. Definite crossover, but it's FIERCE.

LADY ANTEBELLUM

If you want to 'audition' them first, visit them at their Official Website or their Official MySpace page.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Things People Say" by Lady A

*And by selective, I will tell you that this month's purchases have ONLY consisted of Amy Winehouse Back to Black (I don't care that she's a crackhead - homegirl is DRIPPING with talent), Dwight Yoakam's Greatest Hits, Jack Johnson Sleep Through Static and Prince Ultimate.

Yes - it was a very selective month.

Reunited...and It Feels So Good

2008-04-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

I had less than 24 hours with 4 of my favorite Infantrymen last weekend. It was short, but it certainly was sweet.

We (Stroney & I) attended the wedding of Dan & Olivia Weisman. One of the classiest events I've ever been to. Small. Intimate. Perfect. Dan is one of my nearest and dearest from Korea. His bride, Olivia, was beautiful, bright and flawless in her gown. It was a great reunion!

It was if no time had passed since the watered down soju in the Peace Club in Dongducheon. The most fantastic time - and I loved meeting their girls.

And I had the most incredible wedding date. Ever. Try and challenge me to a contest. I dare you.

The only flaw was the absence of our fearless leader, Joey "Eggs" Benefiel, who (unfortunately), had a training exercise last weekend.

Next stop? Savannah - in October, for Eddie & Olivia's nuptials. I have a feeling Georgia will not be the same.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Never My Love" by The Association (Give me cheese points - I'm all misty from being at a wedding. Sue me.)

Are You Married Yet?

2008-04-11T11:04:00.000-07:00

As I sit in THE MOST ghetto terminal I've ever been in - for Boston, this is surprising. I am awaiting my flight, on AirTran Airlines. I can't remember the last time I've flown AirTran. It must've been a while.

Seriously, it makes Greyhound look appealing.

I am not a total priss, nor do I demand first class.

But, when I went to sit down at my gate - I had to WIPE DOWN the seat.

And I'm not even on the toilet.

As I was walking to the security, I had a man come up behind me (walking in the same direction). He was shouting (something inaudible) to his co-worker (who was some yards ahead of me). Because I'm nosey, I turn around to see that he's an employee of some type of sandwich shoppe (I spell it that way so as to fool myself into thinking this is a fancy place). He gives me the once over and says.

"Are you married yet?"

What's with the 'yet'?

Seriously?

That's where we're at? Even the creepy sandwich workers know of my spinsterhood? I just replied (in my best cranky-woman-scorned-voice), "YES!"

Whatever. Tell my hotty Airborne Ranger that. He's already at the destination, awaiting my arrival, where we'll attend a wedding, tomorrow. I haven't seen him since May, he's a great wedding date - and he's yummy on the eyes.

The end.

Maybe THAT'S what I should have said! "No, but I'm going to a wedding. Does that count?"

Bleh.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Steal My Kisses" by Ben Harper

Angels Exist (and they're cleaning my house!)

2008-03-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

Early last month, my dear friends, Kelly & Pete, welcomed a bouncing baby boy, Isaac, to their household. I've been friends with them since early 2003; when we were both at Camp Casey, Korea. Back then, there was just Maddie, then 2 1/2 and just potty training!

Kelly and Isaac Peter
8 February 2008

Kelly, Maddie and I
Toma's Farewell to Korea
October 2003

Thanks to the small Army, Pete's now in grad school here, and Maddie's 7! I love how everyone just seems to cross my path again. To make it even better, she and Kayla were fast friends, and they look forward to their playdates anytime Kayla comes to Monterey. It's a true joy having these friends near me again.

Kayla, Maddie & Chester
Summer 2007

Well, once Isaac came to town, Kelly had a c-section, so it made it difficult for Pete to stay in the hospital with Kel (with Maddie being only 7). It didn't take a second thought - Maddie came over to Camp Toma and had a sleepover! It was great fun, nothing but a blessing. Maddie's a close second to Kayla on my love meter - so smart, absolutely gorgeous, and hilarious, to boot.

Yesterday, in my email box, this is what I received:

Hey Toma,
We had wanted to do something for you for keeping Maddie. We truly appreciated it and did not even worry once about her since she was in your care while we had little Isaac. So, tomorrow at 10 I am meeting Paula from Happy Housekeeping at the gate to get her in and she is coming to clean your house. Do you really want to do that on your day off - with Kayla there, mind you? No. It's already a done deal - and don't 'pre-clean' for her either. She'll be there around 10:15ish tomorrow morning. Love you, Kelly

Wow. No one has ever done anything like that for me. I can't even believe I'm going to go home tonight (I'm out babysitting, as I type this), and the floors will be sparkling, the laundry will be folded, and the dog hair will have mysteriously disappeared. Kelly, you're one of a kind, my friend. Thank you.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Friends" by Michael W. Smith

I'm Inspired

2008-02-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

So - I'm currently in Southbridge, MA, for a class (I'm doing some professional development for my job at Army Lodging - Penn State administers it, but they teach us at the DoD facility here in Massachusetts). I have class all day, but I'm free in the evenings.

So, you see...I am a Huckabee supporter. And I am not afraid to admit it. I realize you may not agree - which is fine! That's what makes our country great! Our own choices. And I love that.

Right. I subscribe to his web feeds and view his blog and calendar, regularly.

I happen to see that he was appearing in Warwick, RI tonight. I pull up MapQuest - and...it's 60 miles from me. Doors open at 5, rally begins at 6.

I revved up my Ford Explorer rental car, plugged the address into the GPS, and off I went.

Okay, so everyone says it's over. Maybe it is. But - maybe it isn't. Until we see those delegates...it's not over.

He was fresh, he was funny, he was smart and he was inspiring. I'm so glad I voted for him. Whether he continues or not, I'm still so happy that I got to see him speak.

Oh! And I dropped a name! My girlfriend, Debbie (whom I was on Cash Cab with in November of 2005 - you can read about that debacle here), went to high school with Governor Huckabee. I sure did mention that, and he lit up! SO - DEBBIE!! Huck says 'hello' and he loves you!

Yes. Six degrees of Toma. Forget that Kevin Bacon person.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan. Don't ask - I've just been singing it all day. But just the intro...'whatever youuuuu wannnnnt...whatever you neeed.....'

I'm not well.

The Valentine's Day That Wasn't A Reminder I'm a Spinster

2008-02-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

Monday was not my favorite day. I got some news that a good friend of mine, who also happens to be my next door neighbor, is leaving. He's leaving earlier than planned, but it was not a surprise.

I knew it was coming, but I was in a bit of a denial, I guess. I always tend to be the 'sunny side up' kinda gal - and - for the first time in a LONG time, I felt justified in being a little bit selfish with this one. "He'll be here 'till summer, I just know it."

No. No ya don't.

Chris is a man's man. I mean, he's a woman's man, too. But - for me, he's a man's man. Living directly next door, his 'daughter', Honey-Bee and Chester have become best friends, just like us! We watched football last fall, watched one another's dogs when one of us had to go away (me more than him!), threw parties when I had company in town, stayed up too late talking about nothing, and sang cheesy 80's music in the car, with the dogs in the back. He has a true servant's heart; taking my trash out - walking my dog every day - constantly filling my ice bucket (I don't have an ice maker, he does). You know, the crap that I've been doing myself for 35 years, but hate to do myself, so he senses it, steps in and just....ahhh....

Lets me exhale.

This is what neighbors do. Remember those days? Those days of community?

My very favorite thing about Chris is his ability to read me - and (like I said above), his ability to sense things. Just when you need him. When I was in San Diego in November (doing the grueling 60-mile walk for the Komen foundation for breast cancer), I was in the first part of day 3....basically about 70% done. I remember, I was at my physical end. I simply could not walk another step. My feet, my legs, my head, my shoulders, my EVERYTHING hurt. I was at a pit stop - and I remember just sitting down, and, literally, weeping. Crying out loud - like a big nelly girl. Right when I thought "This is it, I'm calling for a van, I'm getting out!", I felt my BlackBerry buzz.

A photo text message from Chris:

KEEP GOING, MOM! YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU CAN DO IT!
I LOVE YOU, CHESTER

Chester and Honey-Bee November 2008

Who wants this man to leave? Show of hands? Anyone...anyone?

Last night, completely unplanned, I called him on my way to Bible study, and said, "Hey! Wanna go for a late night run to PF Chang's when I get home?" - which is totally something I know he'd do. We did - and it was great. When we finished, we drove around base singing those cheesy songs with the dogs in the back - looking at the lights over the water in Monterey and....

...it didn't suck.

My very first Valentine's Day that didn't suck. What a blessing! We didn't make out - he's not my boyfriend - I didn't get chocolate and flowers. Shutup. It was just so refreshing.

So. It's cheesy...but I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Chris came into my life for a season - for a reason. I don't even think he knows what a big impact he had on me. And, anyway, he's only going to Virginia, not Mars. As so many of you know, when you say goodbye to Toma, it never is the last time. It's just a little bit odd, for me, you know. I have been saying goodbye to my friends for 14 years. I work for the Army - It's what I do. I am so pre-programmed, and so de-sensitized to goodbyes, that it rarely phases me. I seldom cry when people leave or I leave. It's not that I'm cold and heartless, it's just that I know I'll always see my good friends, again.

For some reason, though (even though I know I'm going to see him again), it's leaving a big gaping hole inside. Even knowing I'm going to see him again doesn't make it suck any less.

Except that - I certainly hope he realizes that he will still have to do the trash on Monday nights. Hope he doesn't mind the commute. Duh.

Chris and Me - January 2008

Uncle Chris and Kayla - January 2008
Kayla is a BIG Chris fan - and a big Honey-Bee fan

(and now, apparantly, a big BoSox fan!)

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin" by Colin Hay

Tagged by JMP

2008-02-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

My gorgeous friend, Jenn Michelle (a/k/a Bits of Myself) tagged me this morning. I want to be her when I grow up, call on her when I need advice without judgment, and cannot wait to meet her gorgeous daughter....

the rules:

link to the person that tagged you
post the rules on your blog
share 6 quirks about your kiddo
tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs
let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

the nuggety goodness:

(okay, so my kid has four legs - but - that will do, for now!!!)

he snores like a human being - and dreams, too! it's HILARIOUS
he never jumps on the couch/bed without asking permission, first
if you put a treat in your mouth, and put your face up to his, he'll take it right from your teeth; ever-so-gently
hates the ocean; is a golden retriever with webbed feet! bred to swim! hates the ocean
is the best part of my day. why? because, each night, when I come home...not only is he happy to see me...but it's always new to me. every day. new.

Rho, Rosalie, and Christy tag! You're it!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Proud Mary" by Tina Turner - last night's Grammy show was one of the best I'd seen in a long time. Definitely the most 'musical' of the Grammy shows. Tina Turner + Beyonce = FIERCE. They blew it up.

(Nana's) Green Thumb

2008-01-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

When I was a little kid, we moved from Indiana to Florida when I was in the 3rd grade. I remember living in a slew of places before we settled in the house I lived in for the longest period I can remember - in Kissimmee. In the early 80's, it was a HUGE house (small for today), and I remember, it had an incredible 'Florida Room' - a screened in porch off our dining room. We had a table out there, and ate many dinners there in the 8 years on Flag Drive.

Anyway - no matter where we lived, my Mom (when my folks were married and for many years after their divorce) had a GAGGLE of plants. Maybe it was the Florida thing - I don't know...but she always had tons of green, leafy, live plants. Especially in the house on Flag Drive. Our Florida room was FILLED with them. She took immaculate care of them.

As always with adulthood, you're only thankful for the things of your childhood once you're grown. I remember those plants making my home so full of life - and so welcoming, every single day of my life. Once we settled in Florida, my maternal grandmother, Nana, came for a visit - once, sometimes twice - a year. Inevitably, the first thing she did every time she walked in the door from the flight, was to circle the house, inspect the plants....pull off the dead leaves and water them. It was something I never even took notice of - other than the fact that Nana always had dead leaves in her hands....and was just as into (if not more) plants as Mom was.

This Friday is my Mom's 61st birthday - and on February 27th, it will be a year since Nana passed away. Mom, Seb and I feel like we've lived a lifetime of memories since she went Home - and Mom and I talk about her, daily. Seb and I decided we'd love to see Mom for her birthday, so she got a ticket and flew out to California. She's with me 3 days, and with Sebby & Kayla for 4.

I picked her up from San Jose this afternoon - we had a late lunch/early dinner with my girlfriend, Heather, and her Mom & Granny (who are visiting from Mississippi).

After we ate, we drove the 90 minutes south to Monterey. Mom walked into my house, petted Chester and then....

...tended to the plants.

Mom, Nana and Me - March 2006
(the last time I saw her)

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "A Million Dreams Ago" by Glenn Miller (for Nana)

She's an Insomniac...inSOOOMMMniac on the floor...

2008-01-25T01:13:00.000-08:00

My desperate attempt at an 80's throwback.

HARRABLE! It's 1am and I've begun my annual week of no sleep. That's just how I roll, and it's fine. No rhyme, no reason, and just get sideways like that. You're the big winner, though! I get inspired and I write and you're fortunate to get to hear my inner monologue.

For a short time.

Random Items:

1. I am now, officially, showing my age. I am addicted to (big sigh)...talk radio!!!! I can't believe I am just now getting it. Here's the thing, as I have mentioned in previous posts, I don't read. I don't watch the news. I don't subscribe to the newspaper*. I'm completely uninformed and I don't care. If it's really THAT BIG of a deal, it will be on the cover of People. Or my Mom will tell me. HOWEVER (pause for effect), my friend, Michele, turned me on to Armstrong and Getty. They're a team that have been together since we actually had radio dials - and they're now based out of Sacramento. Thanks to the digital generation, because I can't tune into Sac'to from this far away, I Podcast them daily. They cover it all - news, politics, celebs, random foolish people, et al without the nauseum. And you know what?

I'm informed.

Neither of them claim allegiance to the right or to the left - neither of them claim any particular religious affiliation. They report, comment and move on. I love it. And they are HEE-LAIRRRR-RIOUS. From what I understand, they are both Ivy League graduate-types, both AGAINST socialism (YESSSSS!), and are both musicians.

I'm on board.

2. Celebrity Rehab - Reality Show

Ohsweetmarymotherofoursavior.

This is an absolute DREAM of reality television. I just saw an interview last month where a pastor's wife said, "People that watch reality TV are people that don't want to get up off the couch and participate in their own lives."

And that's bad? Really?

I am those people.
(I mean the couch people, not the addict people - see that diatribe here)

I realize that I lose points with smart, elitist-types when I claim my allegiance to reality TV. But, you know what, elitist-person? That's what makes our country great. The freedom to choose.

I just feel mid-elitist because I now balance it out with talk radio every day.

But, I digress.

I won't go into the details - but this show....this delicious, addicting (rim SHOT!) show is pure heaven. You've got Kenickie/Bobby Wheeler who is, LITERALLY, hanging on for dear life. This guy, God love him...is ON A GOOD ONE. I just still can't get over that scene in Grease, where he's got that monster Zippo - and he was the coolest of the cool, even though he almost planted a biscuit in Rizzo's oven in the movie. That was soooooo cutting edge in 1978.

And look at him now.

The rest of the celebs?

Don't matter.

Oh yeah! There's a Baldwin in there - he's been clean for X months, but wants continued sobriety and wants to be sure everyone in rehab KNOWS that HE KNOWS it ALL.

Just ask him.

Oh. Yes. And OH! DR. DREW PINSKY. Yum. Me. Especially tonight when he came in to talk Kanickie out of leaving - he was off duty - out of the doc clothes and....um.....well, black tee shirt. Ahem. Nice guns.

3. Election
Bring it, bring it, bring it!!! I adore every single second of this, and I am learning so much (You see what talk radio has done for my life?). I usually try to give you my original, very best on this blog, but....when I read my friend, Chebra's, blog today....it was as if somebody gave her the keys to my head. She summed it up so perfectly and so eloquently, so I'm going to borrow her:

Getting excited for the election, getting REALLY excited that so many people are involved! Hooray for citizenship!!! Alexis deTocqueville would be proud. I am of course more interested in the General election after the primaries, when people stop trying to distinguish minor nuances within the same party (I don't think Hillary was trashing Martin Luther King Jr. And I don't even like Hillary). But I love that people are talking about the issues. I am starting to get minorly offended by the talk that America is not ready for a woman president... I by all means am not against a woman president. I'm a card carrying member of the Independent Women's Forum after all. I am not for Hillary Clinton. That does not make me a misogynist or a Bush fanatic.... it just means I don't like her. And guess what? I'm allowed to not like her. That's the best part of America! I have much more political commentary in my head right now... but for now, I'm just excited that people are talking about it.

4. Exercise = Endorphins? What the?....Who the?
Again, I am at one with my couch. It's no secret. I won't go into the long, drawn-out saga...but let's just say, I am out of my funk. Out of the "I had the flu and it lasted a month" out of the "No I'm not sad the holidays are over and I'm still single - I just want to sleep for 12 hours a night. GET. OFF!!". Yeah, it was noooooo bueno. But, I'm back in business, baby! I'm all in! Ready to be an active participant in my own life.

And I got moving. I went back to spin class and I've never felt better. New class, new teacher, and I'm on my way.

5. Book Recommendation
Yes, even read a book. You see? Times are changing. Go here and see a fellow blogger, Laurie, who lives and knits L.A. Laurie is a gifted writer, and she's actually published her blog into a BOOK!! You can see about that here! My review? Loved it, loved it, LOOO-HHH-OOO-VEDD it! Although not divorced, and owner of a dog...I still related to this book. I love how brave she was to write her story. MY story. My favorite line in the book [when she soberly refers to eating everything in sight when you're depressed] "...it is no longer good for me to do things that are bad for me." Sure, it sounds simple. But - oh, the resonance. Love it.

Although I am drawn to knitting, I'm not sure my A.D.D. is. Stay tuned.

6. I will leave you with my favorite nugget - this came from my favorite talk radio show via You Tube. And it's pure holiday delight. Merry Belated Christmas, ya'll...

"SANTA CLAUSSSUH NEVER COMES DOWN A CHIMNEY WITHOUT PRESENTS!!!"

Hope you enjoyed my insomnia-tic litany. It's 2am and I have to work in the morning. So pass me my Ambien whilst I watch a UFC Champion go through withdrawals. Goodtimes.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: Mr. Sandman by...zzzzzzzzz.......(I fell asleep trying to find the artist. YOU KNOW THE FLIPPIN' SONG!)

*ADDENDUM - I now subscribe to the Sunday paper. Although I say it's so I can be more informed, it's really for the coupons and the Parade magazine. I lie to myself. And it's good.

Article VI - Faith * Politics * America

2008-01-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

I am forwarding this on....from my baby brother, Sebastian...

As discussed in a earlier email a friend of mine from Mariners Church, Reed Dickens, (who used to be the Asst. Press Secretary to George W. Bush) has co-produced this documentary titled "Article VI - Faith * Politics * America". The DVD is now available.

Last night I had the privilege to view the film at a special screening here in Newport. WOW, what great insight and examination of a national conversation that has been ongoing for centuries, Faith & Politics, and how they work together.

If you are unclear about the in depth details of both subjects, this film will help you to better understand.

Click here to view the trailer

We all like to think we know what is what and who is who in the upcoming 2008 primary, but when it comes to faith, it is quite the mess, take the time, spend $20 and educate yourself on what's really going on.

Click here to view the full Press Kit on the film

This is not 2008 candidate bashing by any means. This documentary simply educates and allows us to view things from a different point of view.

I am planning to host an additional screening of the film in the upcoming weeks in the Orange County area for those that were not able to attend last night and would like to know more about it. The screening will conclude with a Q&A session with the producers.

Stay tuned for updates, as I will be sure to keep you all posted on the details.

To order the DVD today for $19.95, click here: (no I don't make money for referring you)

Every American with a pulse needs to see it before they vote.

Make a difference with your vote this coming year!

Please forward this to everyone you know, you'll be glad you did!

I've Got the Power

2008-01-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

So - a vicious windstorm came through northern California last night - to me, the semi-native Floridian, it was just a little breeze. To the native Californian, it was a hurricane. Strong winds, some heavy rain, and we lost power for 24 hours.

Under normal circumstances, I would be fine. I don't prefer it, but I'd be fine. When the power goes out, I can go to bed at 6pm and not feel bad about it.

When I'm alone and the power goes out, I can read. Read BOOKS.

Which I never do. I only read on planes or beaches. Or when the power's out with my itty bitty book light.

How very "Little House on the Prairie".

As I said, under normal circumstances, no problem.

But I had company.

One of my very closest friends from Korea, Joey "Eggs" Benefiel was here; along with his wife and two boys. They are en route to a new duty station at Fort Lewis, Washington. Originally, they were to stay Thursday night, and get on the road Friday. But, Mother Nature had other ideas. Although I was sorry their travels were delayed by a day, I was thrilled at the thought of spending more time with them. The power went off around 11am, and we spent the time by the fire, playing backgammon and catching up/laughing about old times. I cannot think of children I'd rather be with! At 7 and 4, they were absolutely wonderfully behaved. Most kids would be bouncing off the walls! Not the Benefiels! The Benefiel children cozy up on the floor and cuddle with your dog.

What are your questions?

It just says so much about Joey and Taryn as parents. I am so proud of them. Good on ya!

I told them this before they left: there's not many people I can be stuck in a house with, without power. But I'm glad it was them.

Thank you for the fantastic time, Benefiels! Come back soon, I love you all!!

Create Your Own

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake (a throwback to some crazy times in Korea!!)

If You Believe in Love (But ESPECIALLY If You Don't....)

2007-12-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

Go to the theater. Now.
What are you still reading this for? Get to the multiplex!!

...it'll make you believe in the kind of love that lasts. For ever and ever!

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Ever Ever After" by Carrie Underwood

Lost in Translation

2007-11-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

...sometimes it's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

...sometimes, working with the Army for 13 years (as I do), it's difficult when you have to work with people who just aren't...how can I say this politely...at your same functional level.

I had to make reservations last week for an incoming VIP. The local contact for these reservations was an admin assistant to a high ranking non-commissioned officer here on the installation. Nice as she can be....but (bless her heart), sharp as a bowling ball.

She wrote and asked for reservations - to which I reply, "Got it, I'll get back to you."

I checked into it - and, sure enough, someone ELSE was also driving the same car as this VIP, and had already made reservations. Ever-so-politely I advised this admin assistant that the lane was already covered - no need for her intervention, but it was all set, and I cc'ed her on the original confirmation. She thanked me, and replied that'd she'd be happy to move out of the lane, and sincerely appreciated my assistance and information.

I wrote back, closed the loop (this is, yet another issue with this particular individual - with the 200 replies for ONE SUBJECT)...and went on with my day, saying something like "Thanks, Claire [name changed]...always happy to assist if you ever need anything. Regards, Toma."

Her reply?

"Cool beings. Thanks Toma."

Yes. You heard me. Cool beings. I think that 'alleged' saying was popular for...oh...about 20 minutes when I was in 8th grade. And (again, BLESS HER HEART), she must've gotten in on it 25 years later...when...'cool beans' got lost in translation.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Love Don't Live Here" by Lady Antebellum (new on the scene, but I totally dig their sound)

Pants....PANTS? I'm not wearing any PANTS!!!

2007-10-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am about to take you on a very slow saunter; seven days in the Virgin Islands; complete with inside jokes, photos and names of people you don't know. This is the vacation post I have been waiting to do for an entire year. Sit back, grab a Virgin Islands Summer Ale (if you happen to have one handy), and go on vacation with me. If it's too epic a post, bookmark it and come back (I broke it down by day). If it's too epic a post, all together, then click the red X in the corner and know that I had the time of my life - then email me and I'll send you a link to my photos.

Either path you choose, you can't go wrong! I hope you enjoy hearing about this week as much as I enjoyed relaying it to you.

Vacation tip #1

Spend a few days at a 'neutral' destination, before going on to the 'real' destination.

Best decision I ever made. I took a few days in South Florida, at Mom's, to get in 'vacation mode'. You know, get used to not being at work, wind down from the BlackBerry (and when I say 'wind down', I mean to gradually wean myself! HA!). I flew into Mom's on Wednesday, but didn't actually fly to the islands until Sunday. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a wonderful job that earns me great vacation time.

Day One - TRAVEL TO/ARRIVAL IN ST. JOHN

Unlike others in my group, I really didn't research, read, or grasp the notion that getting to St. John would be such a mission. Because I am lazy (No, sorry, I'm not lazy...I'm just 'selectively active', as Elj would say....), I just relied on the education of others. Which was fine. But, oh. The journey.

Tiff, my dear friend since grade school in Cowsimmee, met me at Mom's, then Mom dropped us in Miami. Once we checked in, we needed a pit stop at the bar. Duh. It's vacation time, kids...and I'm. THIRSTY.

Two of the eight women met Tiff and I in Miami, Lisa and Sandy.

Henceforth known as LiSandy or SaLisa. They were born and bred Hoosier girls, so I had NO QUESTIONS.

I quickly realized that I had two mojitos and barely any food. Lisa came through with almonds to curb the hunger. You see? Hoosiers. NO QUESTIONS. Only solutions. I think Indiana should use that as their new marketing campaign.

We boarded our flight - and the fun began.

Immediately.

To quote my traveling companion and friend of nearly 25 years, Tiffany Welch, "When I go on vacation, the entire plane goes on vacation."

And that it did.

There was the grown man that bundled up with his blankie and drank his Diet Sprite with his pinky in the air. Really? There was the couple that were retired military, heading off for a vacation in St. Thomas who loved the party that Tiff and I provided.

We knew it was going to be a good week.

We arrived in St. Thomas - and immediately met up with Laura Jo (my tribe) and Rosalie (also, my tribe), who had been at the airport waiting. We collected our bags, and immediately began the search for a taxi that would take us to Red Hook; Red Hook being the boat dock to catch our ferry to St. John, where we'd be spending the week. We immediately adopted the moniker "SIX FOR RED HOOK", as we sought out a taxi.

We finally procured transportation, and we were on our way. It was a very curvy, very rainy, very stressful ride to the ferry. We finally reached it, and missed our 4pm (intended) ferry, so we hopped on the 5pm.

We arrived in St. John, our final destination, to rain and grey.

Super.

We were all sweaty.

And hot.

And hungry.

And wet.

And crabby.

We then reached our remaining 3 - Debbie, Alexis and Kim. They arrived in St. John the night before, but were gracious enough to rent our car and wait for us at the dock. We were to meet our real estate agent there, and he or she would escort us to our villa we'd rented.

In theory.

We waited well over an hour, and no agent from Destination St. John (our rental agency). We immediately sprang into action. "Where else can we stay? How much is the Westin? Why won't they answer the phone?" Turns out - the agent that was to meet us did not show for work that day, and no one had been assigned to cover her clients.

So, then came John.

The two miles from the dock to the house, pitch black, driving on the left, up tall hills and curvy cliffs was...super easy.

(Insert sarcasm here)

I believe I counted four (4) strokes Elj had on the way up there, for fear we would lose our lives before we bore children.

We finally reached the house.

...and it was all worth it.

Hale Lani was incredible. Amazing. Breathtaking. Unbelievable. Four bedrooms, 3 1/2 bathrooms, full kitchen, open air living room and lanai, pool...and a BREATHTAKING view of the Caribbean. From that moment on, there was nothing but fantasy becoming reality. This is the stuff I see on the travel channel! In Conde Nost Traveler magazine! Not stuff I do!!!

Six of us headed out to the famous Woody's - we were all starving and ready to mow down! We did just that, but made it an early night, as we were all just so very tired from the trip. I had my very first Virgin Islands Summer Ale. I love it when - the first night you're in a new place - you find the drink that suits you.

And marry it.

I drank Summer Ale all week long. Like it was my job.

The night at Woody's came with a cherry on top when, after a few vodka Red Bulls, Tiff did her impression of Mick Jagger performing.

Spot on.

Day 2 - ST. JOHN

Up early and breakfast in - we were out for our first day at the beach. We spent the day at Trunk Bay. Lazy day, just laying on the beach, snorkeling, noodling, and taking it all in. The water, unbelievable. A turquoise so radiant it looked like a postcard.

But in 3-D.

We headed back to the house to shower up and head out for happy hour/dinner/what have you. We had a light meal at the house, but knew there'd be snacks later. Our first stop was The Quiet Mon Pub in downtown St. John.

Too quiet.

On to the Beach Bar, home of Doug, our MVP bartender for the week. DougMORE (not DougLAS) was born and bred in Winter Haven, FL. POLK COUNTY, BABY.

Good. Clean. Livin'.

For the most part, we branched off into two groups: Alexis, Debbie and Kim and the remaining (a/k/a 'SIX FOR RED HOOK') stuck together. LiSandy would branch off and do their own thing from time to time, but we quickly found our vibe and knew that our six just spoke each other's language. That first 'night out', however, all 9 of us managed to meet up at the Beach Bar. We told jokes, we drank, we laughed.

Day 3 - ST. JOHN

Repeat day 2, except we visited Cinnamon Bay, and this beach was even prettier than the day before!

NO WAY! Yes, WAY!

We also decided, that four of us (LauraJo, Rosalie, Tiff and I) would try out Morgan's Mango, as it was to be our 'one big nice dinner'.

And it was. The food, incredible. Atmosphere? Addicting. Well worth the money spent.

Day 4 - ST. JOHN

Today we did a little island exploring.

We drove all the way to the East End, shot many photos of SOME of St. John's 33 beaches, and visited Skinny Legs, one-time employer of my good friend, Gann Brewer. Gann's a Bohemian, live and in-color...I met him in Europe when we were both doing grunt work for the soldiers at the hotel in Garmisch. I climbed the career ladder, while Gann maintained the Buffett-esque theme of "Here's to growing older, but never growing UP." ANYWAY, Gann (sadly) was not in St. John while I was there, but Skinny Legs looked, sounded and smelled richly of him. I got to meet Moe, the owner, and hear good stories of triathlons and how 'giving life the finger' 20 years ago (by moving to St. John) didn't turn out too shabby. The best burger (Yes! We're back on meat, kids!) I've had in years....maybe that's because...OH YES! The very first hamburger I've had, since I can remember!!! We laughed, took photos, hugged and promised Moe we'd return.

We headed back to Hale Lani to do an impromptu birthday celebration for Sandy - henceforth known as SandyKrack, as we all had sand in places even our OB/GYN hadn't been. We had a cake made, played a big 'Happy Birthday' song, and enjoyed a pre-party at the house, as the sun set over St. Thomas in the backdrop.

The cake inscription reads "64RH" as in "Six for Red Hook"

During our little birthday afternoon, there were times I'd look up and think "Is this 'The Truman Show'?" "Are they going to unzip that scrim, so I see the real world, now?

But it WAS the real world. And not the one on MTV with drunk girl.

Back downtown we went, to Woody's - it was sweaty. So sweaty. But, we didn't care. More cocktails, more singing, more fun.

Day 5 - SAILBOAT

Tiff had been to the Virgin Islands before, and she'd had the great experience of taking a sailboat/snorkeling day aboard New Horizons. If it was possible, this day, was better than the one before it. I don't know how this happened, but each day was, infinitely, better than the one before it. I actually saw a tee shirt at a little shop in the East End....even bought it for my Bonus Dad, Dave - it said "No bad days."

I wish I was making this up! Anyway, we enjoyed a great day aboard this boat, we snorkeled for a bit, but....mostly, spent the day, in the middle of the ocean, on our noodles, sipping painkillers, and just trying to figure out when we've had a better time.

Tiff and I racked our brains, and...we couldn't.

We returned from the sailboat, stopped at the grocery, and were treated to a great home-cooked spaghetti dinner by Elj. Man, that girl can COOK. The other beauty to renting your own beach house; a full kitchen at your disposal. We sat on our outdoor patio, listened to Sade, drank red wine and (yet again), couldn't remember a time when we had it SO GOOD.

Day 6 - JOST VAN DYKE

Okay, really. I have to say (and, I know, this post is all about each day one-upping the other!), this day...by far...SEALED IT. No way have I ever seen a place more beautiful. More primitive. More genuine. More blue - more white - more.....more...

Me.

We took the ferry from St. John to Jost van Dyke. Because Jost is in the British Virgin Islands, we had to make a pit stop in Tortola, to show our passports. We did just that, got our stamps, and back on the ferry. We arrived in Jost and were greeted by Oliver. My new boyfriend. He had an old, beat up Ford truck. In the bed of his truck, he put benches and a canopy - but the canopy had no covering, only the rails. Go figure. We hopped on Oliver's truck - and for $10 round trip, he'd show us a few things, then drop us at our destination, Ivan's. Then, be ready by 2pm, ladies! He will collect us at Soggy Dollar, to catch our ferry home.

I'll get there. Don't worry.

Our first stop - and where we spent the majority of our day - Ivan's Stress Free Bar and Campground....but I just refer to it as Ivan's Island.

For all intents and purposes, Ivan is the mayor. Jost only has 120 people, and I think he's the most famous. The island has only had electricity since 2002, and you don't need a zip code when you send a letter there. To quote Oliver - "Toma, when you mail me that picture of us, just write 'Oliver, Jost van Dyke, BVI'."

Seriously. What ARE your questions?

Ivan, to many Kenny Chesney fans, is a household name. He filmed a video there. He's mentioned in a few of KC's songs.

But that's not what made Ivan - IVAN.

It's the honor bar. Take what you want, write your name in the book - and pay me what you think you own me at the end.

It's his daughter, Darlene - who will cook you another fantastic islands burger in the outdoor kitchen that's right on the sand. It's his other daughter, Natalie, who will take your photo as you pose with her Dad behind the bar....then reminds you to laminate that photo, send to her Dad, so he can proudly display it in his bar.

It's how Ivan hugs you as if he's known you his entire life - then tells you he loves you and asks if he can do anything for you. If not, then he'll go and pour some concrete for a new project, then come back to hug and kiss you goodbye. When he tells you he can't wait to see you again, and that you'd better return.

He means it.

For the first time - in my life - on a vacation...

I felt LOVED by a host. Actually, LOVED!

Yes. I realize. Hoky. But, I did.

After Ivan's - we decided to walk the beach, less than 1/4 of a mile, down to the Soggy Dollar, home of the original Painkiller.
Ivan told us to watch our step, and to stay on the path, which we did. We stayed on the path, but parts of it were rocky and unsteady.

A lot like life.

I was walking next to Elj (and I know this story will make it in her blog - if it hasn't already), and we had a small, maybe 10-foot patch of rocks-over-water-then-back-to-sand situation en route to the Soggy Dollar. I look to my left, and Elj has lost her flip flop. As she reaches down to grab it, up comes a wave, and....

...down she goes.

Beach bag and all.

In the water. Completely submersed, contents included digital camera, cell phone, vacation journal with 5 days' writing, and books (one of, which, belonged to the Nashville Library).

it was funny for about.......20 seconds.

Then, it wasn't.

For about.......2 hours.

We reached the Soggy Dollar - and, like it or not, Elj needed a cocktail.

"I don't want one! MY CAMERA IS RUINED! MY CELL PHONE IS DEAD AND RUINED! I CAN'T READ MY JOURNAL!"

I'm pretty sure that her head did a 360 and she vomited pea soup.

As we rounded out our hour at the Soggy Dollar - under my breath, I was thanking the engineer and creator of the Painkiller; because...slowly - glacially - Elj wasn't feeling the pain.

Hence the name.

Because we had walked to the Soggy Dollar in our bathing suits and long tee shirts/cover-ups, our 'clothing', clothing was in our respective beach bags.

Right.

Remember, just a few lines ago? What happened to Elj's beach bag?

Um-humn. You guessed it.

Because she's a girl who is breezy and elegant. Because she's beautiful. Because she can laugh at herself and, eventually, find the humor in the situation, she promptly wrapped herself in Rosalie's beach towel, took the ferry home, went through immigration....

And wore no pants.

DAY 7 - ST. JOHN

Our last day to soak it in.

We spent the morning on the East End, complete with another lunch at Skinny Legs (Hey - when we say we'll come back, we mean it), then we completed our last day on the beach (complete with many hours of noodlin') at Mahoe Bay. We did a long snorkel this day (I even saw a sea turtle!), and rounded it out with one of my very favorite photos of the trip. Appropriately titled...

The Redneck Snorkel

By day seven, we had it down pat - and why vary from the norm? Only this time, we skipped the shower. Beach - straight to happy hour - straight to dinner. I was still in my bathing suit at 10pm.

Again, by day 7, we were professionals. See? Bathing suit still on, tank and sarong on top.

Bro, I do this like you read about.

We met up with some ladies from Seattle (Leslie in pink and Doris in orange) that we'd met at Skinny's, earlier that day. They continued to dinner with us at Margarita Phil's. We were approached by our hostess/waitress, Laura. She could pass for Sandra Bernhard's double.

However (pause for effect). Sandra Bernhard was a nun compared to ole' girl.

Let's just say she was insistent on showing the entire table her new tattoo.

On her foot.

On the table.

As she tore off her bloody band-aid, and placed her foot on the table, we were all privy to seeing the new ink, along with her 'Britney' (and when I say 'Britney', I mean her lady parts).

Ahem. "Grossed out? Paging 'Grossed out'? Grossed out to a white courtesy phone..."

I'm really glad we left this for the last night. Because really - entertainment. She placed a cold beer on the table and proceeded to drink from it every time she came 'round.

..so her boss wouldn't know she was drinking on the job.

Like school on Saturday folks...NO CLASS.
Do you need a visual? Ok. Here it is. This is Laura the waitress(standing)...MOLESTING...Laura the tourist(sitting).

We all pretended that we just KNEW she washed her hands before handling our food.

DAY 8 - LEAVING ST. JOHN
This really isn't part of the vacation, and no one wants to hear how I had to sit on my suitcase to close it, how we grew more sad as St. John shrank in the distance, as we rode away on the ferry. We left paradise - returned from whence we came...turned on the cell phones, checked our email, had a few tears at the airport and went back to our lives. I made two new sisters, Lisa and Sandy - and two new friends, Doris and Leslie. I took photos, but the snapshots in my mind will last forever.

When you go, tell Ivan I sent you....and don't forget your bug spray.

Until next time - keeping the island state of mind...pants or no pants!!!
Toma
xoxoxo

Toma's Favorite Song of the Day: 'Manana' by Jimmy Buffett

On convincing others....

2007-10-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

So, my vacation blog post is almost complete...look for that in the next week. I just needed this morning to vent - and (after all), that was the original intent of weblogs, if I'm not mistaken!

I was at Penn State all week, taking a class - headed home yesterday. I was to fly Harrisburg ---> Chicago ---> San Francisco ---> Monterey. Long day. But I'm used to it by now and can, pretty much, roll with anything that comes my way.

I get to San Francisco and my flight was oversold. It was a no-brainer.

I volunteered to give up my seat, as there were 13 soldiers and 1 sailor on the plane, and I wanted every single one to board! Plus, the drive from San Fran to Monterey is only 2 hours.

Well, the flight wasn't exactly 'oversold', but 6 people had to volunteer, as the soldiers were moving to Monterey, and all had their duffle bags. Because of weight and balance, 6 people needed to volunteer (the little puddle jumpers can only hold so much - and I'm not afraid to bow out for safety!).

Would you believe, no one would volunteer?

Freakin' tree-hugging selfish California snots.

The woman from United was BEGGING. Telling people "Ladies and gentlemen, please consider this. If you don't volunteer we won't go anywhere."

I couldn't take it anymore.

I stood up and made an announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen....I'm sorry, we are all tired. We all want to get home....but these soldiers and this sailor need to get on this flight to report to duty tomorrow and start class Monday. United will drive us to Monterey! It's one more hour out of your life....and you get a free ticket!

Again, it's late. We're all tired, we all want our beds, me included! But ask that soldier the last time he slept in HIS bed. The last time he was with HIS family. Please don't think about yourself right now...because they sure don't."

Four more people got up.

Amazing - what is with people?

None of them were willing, until I guilted them into it!

I wasn't the most popular girl on the shuttle last night to Monterey, but I felt good that all of those soldiers got to Monterey before me. It's all over and done now, and I did meet some really nice people on the shuttle, when it was all said and done. Sue and Ted Hooker, a retired doctor, just returning from vacation in Hawaii. Sally and Becky and John...all very nice. God bless all of you for supporting those that serve. When you finally did reach your home, wasn't it a lot easier to put your head on that pillow?

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Not Me" by Keni Thomas

Me and My (Platonic) Boyfriends

2007-09-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

My career, 13 years working as a civilian for the Army, has been, mostly, around men. That's just a simple result stemming from...oh, I dunno. THE MILITARY. I love it, more and more every single day. I always have a 'big brother', or someone to do my heavy lifting, or a date on national holidays. It really does bode well for a girl like me.

Somewhere along the way, I decided that I want to get married and have children. It's the natural order of things - and, as most everyone knows - I'm on that path. My 20s were for casual dating, random guys, "Oh we're just having fun.". We're done with that now. I'm dating to marry. The end. No, there is not currently anyone in my life that it auditioning for that role, don't get excited! I am still on the market, but hoping to close escrow soon. I turned 35 last month, tick-tock, tick-tock. Duh.

What's disconcerting? Well - all of a sudden, here I am, 35, and I spend the MAJORITY of my time with my boyfriends. My (platonic) boyfriends. It's wonderful and great and fulfilling and fun.

So, how's come I have never felt lonelier?

WAH Wah wahhhhhhhhh...

Sorry. I just - sigggghhh - do.

Okay! We're done with the wallowing portion of our program. SO! I spent some time on the road, last month....I did my 35th birthday, just outside of Boston. I had to attend a class, then was fortunate enough to have fresh lobster and steamers with Audra & her hubby, Greg...but was also HONORED when Kristy (Krash) Ashworth and her fiance, Jay, made an appearance at my little fiesta:

Create Your Own

After Boston, I was home just long enough to do my laundry, give Chester some love, then it was off again! This time I went to Orlando for a conference. Thank you very much, Army Lodging...a free trip home (your tax dollars at work, folks!). Well, Orlando isn't exactly 'home' anymore, but it was where I spent 20 years of my life. Here's some random shots of people who you may not know, but I do - and they helped shape who I am today.

Create Your Own

I didn't love my trip - I have to be blatantly honest. I didn't hate it, and don't get me wrong...it was so fantastic to see SO MANY people who did help me be who I am. Who LOVE me, unconditionally.

But...for me. I think it was the surroundings. When I moved there in 1981 - it was one theme park. One gift shop. One gas station. I know, growth and commercialism is to be expected. But. Ugh. Orlando is sooooooooooooo overstimulating. I just felt, almost, like I couldn't...um...

...catch my breath. The neon signs, the theme parks, the traffic, the tourists...it's just all....

Too much.

Plus, I stayed at the Shades of Green, where my Army career began 13 years ago. Again, fantastic to see everyone, had such a nice time.

I guess I'm just a girl who never looks back.

Again, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today without those years...but someone once said to me, "Toma, there's only one way to go in life. Straight ahead."

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "For Good" from the musical 'Wicked'

(and....just because I can....here's another Caribbean Countown Photo of the Day!!)

Caribbean Countdown Photo of the Day

2007-07-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

I know I am due for an update, but, the "June Gloom" in Monterey has set in (even though it's July). A typical Monterey summer? Terribly foggy, cold and, actually...I have my heat on right now. I love Monterey, and adore my life here. But, honey? WHERE IS SUMMER? Summer in Monterey lasted...um...about 3 weeks. Really...my mind is on the islands.

Plane Ticket? Check.
Reservations for an Oceanfront House with Eternity Pool? Check.
Vacation Time Approved? Check.
Beach Ready Body? in progress - we're down 13 pounds!!!

Stay tuned - updates coming on: Scott Baio, endorphins and real estate....

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "One Particular Harbor" by Jimmy Buffett

Sweet Summertime....

2007-07-16T13:53:00.001-07:00

Who wants to be, inside, blogging, when it's summer?

It's been fantastic, so far. Kayla kicked off her summer for a month here in Monterey...it was an absolute blast. You know, every time I spend time with Kayla, I learn something. Not about Kayla. Not about motherhood or being a parent. I learn about myself.

A few Sundays ago, I was extremely exhausted. From work and next year's budget and play dates and Bible study and babysitting and. And. And.

And I couldn't get out of bed. I laid in bed all morning - asking Kayla to just "Let Tante rest...I'm just so tired. Please watch cartoons - I'll get up in a minute...I promise."

Well, I managed to rise at 1pm. We went out to lunch with my friend, Chris, who's visiting from Germany - then we went on to babysit that night.

On the drive home, I realized what a yutz I'd been - and apologized to Kayla. "Kayla, Tante's sorry about this morning. I was such a grouch."

"You can say that again."

I almost drove the car off the road.

"Tante - here's the deal. This happened to Mommy. When you lay around all day, you get sad - then you get sick. Before you know it, you have to move to Florida and be far away from me. Is that what you want?"

Hi. She's six. And who says kid's aren't insightful?

Plain and simple.

She makes me try harder.

Here's a wrap up of our summer...enjoy!!!

Stay tuned for updates from Boston and Orlando. A few more weeks and I'm heading out for some work trips.....

Until then, take care of each other,
Toma
xo

Does Mapquest Have the Point-to-Point Route to the Town Named 'History'?

2007-05-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

How do you know when to let go? And I don't mean the "...this relationship is going nowhere, so I'm going to break up with him." let go. I mean - when does one let go of the Ghosts of Relationships Past?

And yes, there was a Sex and the City episode about it.

I'm about to pay a visit to a very dear friend of mine in NYC. Vinny and I have a very long history together. I have mentioned him in blog entries before. I simply adore Vinny - for his mind, for his heart, his humor, his family, for his devotion, for his honor. There was a long period in my life where I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he was 'the one'. I tried and tried and changed and re-invented and clung and pined...

And I'm so glad my 20s are over.

You know that girl. We've all been that girl. He's not the guy - and we know he's not the guy - but we swear we can make him the guy.

I've been that girl a number of times.

Well, our 14-year friendship has really come full circle. I can stand here, before you and say that I know he's not the one.

But I wish that he thought I was the one.

Listen again, carefully.

I wish he thought I was the one.

"I don't want you, but I don't want anybody else to want you."

No. Not really. I'm in this weird place right at the moment (that moment being 2 days before I spend the weekend with him and his entire family). I am making every effort, slaying any dragon, doing everything in my power....

...to look like a million dollars this weekend. To be breezy and elegant (throwback, Kiki!) and stunning and seasoned. I mean, all girls want to look fabulous when they see their ex-boyfriends. Duh. But this isn't that. And I can't put Vinny in the ex-files, anyway. That whole word 'ex' is just negative. That just wasn't who we were/are! We truly do love each other, with ZERO regret, remorse or unresolved issues. In some freaky place, I want Vinny and his family to say "Vinny, you're a total bozo. Why aren't you with Toma? She's PERFECT!"

And then I want to walk away.

Isn't that insane?

When you encounter someone in your life, that person that just 'gets' you. Someone you have chemistry with - someone you have that witty banter with - it's all of that stuff...but...beyond that?

He's the person that calls you out on all your bullshit.

Vinny is that guy for me. Knows me better than any other person on this planet. And that is, rare. So, when that walks in, you do anything you can to hold on to that - to ensure that it doesn't walk away.

Again with the 20s. Today, at 34 (about to be 35), he is still that person, but platonic. Because, you know what? Chemistry fades. Witty banter fades. The kind of thing that lasts a lifetime?

Someone that is just...always in your corner.
Someone you're not afraid to be naked in front of.

And I mean that metaphorically, too.

Vinny is that person.

But he's not the one? What? What are you talking crazy for, Toma? You seem perfectly suited, but you say he's not? Then why are you hanging on, Toma? Silly girl.

One word:

History.

I know he loves me, and I him. That will never. Ever. Go away. You don't marry everyone you love. So many times, we see relationships that are comfortable. Marriages and unions that happen, solely because people just.

Give up.

They continue down the road they've always traveled. Because they don't have to ask for directions, it's familiar and it's comfortable. Is it a bad road? No, not necessarily. But there's very little change. Or rest stops. Or billboards. And, the history. Because even though we fight and even though there are moments of unhappiness (Um. Yes. I know, that's marriage), before you know it...you're driving a mini-van, wearing sweatpants with elastic at the ankles, and chain-smoking in your garage. Because that's what you know. Although comfortable (the sweatpants) and easy to get in and out of (the minivan), it's bad for you (the cigarettes).

I'm Molly Metaphor today, people.

Here's the thing. I had a long chat with a friend tonight - and he provided, what became that vehicle of clarity that I needed (me and my dying need for validation - which is very strange; for me, anyway).

So, while I was talking to my friend tonight, I kept asking myself, "Why do I feel this way, David? I mean, I am, literally, laughing at myself, because I am so ridiculous! I am not in love with this man, yet I want to show up to the communion in my brand new red patent-leather wedge sandals with the peek-a-boo toe and make him eat his heart out! Why? I am CERTIFIABLE! What the...?"

Cue: Yoda

"Just remember, you've been down that road. Take another one, Toma. The other leads to a town you already went to and you know what's there. You feel this way, because you just want the town to be envious of where you are going."

Nevermind! Forget the title! I don't need directions!

I don't believe in ghosts, anyway.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Always On Your Side" by Sting, featuring Sheryl Crow

Here's A Tip

2007-04-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

Now I know there is no such thing as natural beauty.

That's why...when my mother said to me, back in November, "I think it's time you started waxing your mustache.", I heeded her advice.

Yes, I said it. There comes a time in every woman's life where..

You just have to. The entire around-the-mouth area just needs. Attention.

I visited the salon, had it waxed. Fine. No issues. Easy, but expensive. I realize there are some (read: MEN) that don't realize this, but this is...maintenance. Bleh. So, the next time, I decided to wax it myself. I used Sally Hansen wax strips. No issues. Then, last month (when I was with Donna in the Grand Canyon) she brought some Nair (note: I said NAIR - as in, you can find it, ANYWHERE) facial hair removal creme with her from Germany. I tried, it LOVED IT, it was the easiest, cheapest and least painful. No issues.

I had found my 'stache removal method. What a cinch!

Right.

Last night, I stopped at Target and picked up (what I thought was) the very same product, except I bought the 'sensitive' formula....because I wanted to be, you know, safe.

Um, no.

Don't I look good with a goatee?

So, Donna, if you're reading this - can you send me the RIGHT Nair product? Seems the Krauts do Nair differently than us. Danke schoene, mein freunde.

Toma's Favorite Song Today: "Beauty from Pain" by Superchick